There are Better Days Ahead - episode 199
The answer was no. The application for a visa to study in Canada was denied. Surrendering to this only fueled his desire to find a way. Enitan Balogun gave himself a day to feel down, all the human emotions you have when a roadblock is put in the way of a goal. He would not let any fear define him. Then Enitan honed in on exactly what the problem was, the why.
Once you determine the why of a problem, you can best find a solution. The roadblock may be beyond your control but don’t run away from it, Enitan advises. Face your fears, surrender with a “Here I am” attitude and start strategizing a way to move forward. You pick yourself up because you have faith there are better days ahead.
Enitan has been on the podcast before in Capturing Life through a Lens - episode 76; Consistency and Prayer - episode 102; And the Sky will be Your Starting Point - episode 186.
I will not let my fears define me.
— Enitan Balogun
They Might be Right
Thoughts from There are Better Days Ahead
It took ten years. Not exactly sure why it took so long. It seems some things just do. And of course there is always the possibility that a thing won’t happen at all. I am happy to report in this case it did. My brother, David, married his long-time girlfriend of ten years, Kristi. It was a beautiful afternoon, a lovely celebration of their love.
Our family was ecstatic, filled with joy at their decision to make it official. Hers was as well. I don’t think there was anyone in attendance who was not rooting for them to tie the knot long before they actually did. They were already committed to each other so why not take that extra step?
And therein lies the choice. Do you marry or not?
Some people consider it just a piece of paper, not something that is absolutely necessary. If you decide to go your own way somewhere down the line, things are probably a bit cleaner, certainly no real legal complications to deal with. The argument here is that you continually choose to stay and that somehow could make for a stronger bond. Think Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell; Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham. These couples are big proponents of not getting married. Oprah is on the record saying,”…I have Stedman, who’s letting me be who I need to be in the world. He’s never demanding anything from me like, ‘Where’s my breakfast? Where’s my dinner?’ Never any of that, which I believed would have changed had we married.” Hawn’s take, “I would have been long divorced if I ever married Kurt…Because it gives you the freedom to make decisions one way or the other. So for me, I chose to stay, Kurt chose to stay, and we like the choice."
I think I get their logic to a certain degree. I have certainly not been in their shoes of a long-term relationship outside of marriage. Not as an adult. The way I see it is marriage is the ultimate vow you can make to promise to be with the other no matter what. Oh sure there are plenty of times that are hard and you may fantasize about making decisions by yourself, you think of the ease you could have by being on your own. Then you get a reality check of what those promises mean in day-to-day life, and you are grateful you have a partner for the joyous moments while you build a history with that person. Typically you’re not keeping the exit in immediate site. You stood up in front of family and friends and declared, This is the person I love, the person I will do life with. It’s acknowledged by the state I live in, and for me, was made before God. For me that is the best part.
So if you choose to make the vow, take it seriously. It’s more than a wedding with all the trimmings. It’s a life together no matter what. (Sure there are exceptions but those are for another time, another blog.) If you choose not to tie the knot, there is no judgment here, just lots of acknowledgment you are on the path of your choosing. Who am I to say otherwise or that I know better? I don’t. Either way I hope you will see the better days ahead that Enitan talked about. They say good things come to those who wait; I think they might be right. Happy marriage, David and Kristi.
Staying on the long winding road can lead to the best kind of love.
— RCN
