Be a Barnabus Today - episode 51
This is Unabashed You from the men’s point of view. Our guest today, Pat, coined that phrase and it sounds pretty good to me! He is our second guest for the Men in March series. He grew up in Southern California in a family of boys and now he is the husband to a wonderful wife, Sandra, has two daughters, a granddaughter and more recently a grandson. Pat has always been a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. He lives by his strong faith and is a profound proponent of being an encourager. You’ll see what I mean.
If we come alongside each other in encouragement, we really can make a difference even in the smallest of ways. So one person at a time let’s get civility, kindness, friendship back and invest in others. Let’s make it a movement. It can start with you. It can start with me. Go out and be a Barnubus today.
Optimistically hopeful.
Faith-filled.
Encourager.
— Pat
White Privilege?
Thoughts on Be a Barnabus Today
In thinking about being an encourager to those around me I realize not all groups have the same advantages or have the constant of love and opportunity across the board the way other groups do. Somehow I ended up thinking about my white privilege. Do I have it? What exactly IS white privilege?
white privilege - inherent advantages possessed by a white person on the basis of their race in a society characterized by racial inequality and injustice. (Oxford Languages)
I would say that appears to be an accurate definition from what I understand. Looking back I realize I did have some privileges afforded to me due to my skin. While I am technically 50% Puerto Rican, as in my father’s family hails from there, I somehow identified more with the 50% from my mother’s Scandinavian side. I realize this was in large part due to being raised in a single-parent home where our mother’s family’s traditions became ours. When the other parent is not around you aren’t able to partake in what you don’t know. (Now with the DNA testing that is available, it turns out I retained very little of the Latin side and way more English than anyone knew. It’s a mystery.)
I was not ashamed of my Latin side. I just didn’t know it. Not then and not now. When my father was growing up there was reason for him to feel shame because where he was raised, (New York City and Chicago) being Puerto Rican was as low as you could get. There were fights. There was survival. It scarred him to the point that when he moved to San Diego, and eventually met my mom, he identified as Italian.
My mother was a working class single woman with no college education who did the very best she could. We lived in a house because her mother, my grandmother, worked with a work ethic I have never seen before, and bought us the house. She didn’t want her grandkids raised in an apartment without a yard. Also, a single woman, she ran a board and care home and worked 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (Ok, she did sleep but she missed most every important event of our lives.) She was not wealthy or even well-off. She simply had this work ethic, never complained, and socked away her money. Talk about sacrifice!
I was raised in a middle-class neighborhood. I was the first female president my elementary school ever had. So as most women can attest, there is prejudice against women that comes in many forms. While I had white (olive really) skin I was female. And since my mom didn’t make much money I was eligible for college scholarships plus I had worked hard to make good grades. Yes, my last name is Latin and that was taken into account when college support funds were being awarded.
Yet do I have white privilege? I am going to say this comes in degrees, along a spectrum. Yes, to a certain degree I see I had some of the advantages of white privilege. There are groups who have had to struggle, be oppressed, are marginalized, and have not been afforded the same opportunities I have experienced.
I have heard it said a better value than equality, is equity. Not sure what you all think of that or even what I think. Still pondering.
equality - The state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities. (Oxford Dictionary)
equity - The quality of being fair and impartial. (Oxford Dictionary)
It’s one of those things: can we ever really have equality? It is an ideal, a value, and certainly something to strive for and I believe it is theoretically possible but more than likely improbable. Only because there will (always?) be individuals/groups that feel superior for one reason or another. I don’t think they, in practicality, want equality or will give up things (sacrifice anyone?) to make things equal.
Equity on the other hand feels like something that is far more doable. Still hard and a challenge, but doable. Being fair and impartial is a must. How can we each be that? How can I be fair and impartial? I think it starts with little things. Seeing each person, listening to others, respecting opinions that are different from your own, and opening yourself up to embrace, and advocate for, fairness and impartiality. For all.
What are your thoughts on this topic? We’d love to hear them to keep the conversation alive and moving in the right direction. Feel free to email us and let’s keep the dialogue going. More importantly if you have any kind of privilege, share it, and lend a hand whenever you can. Others have likely helped you so be an encourager. Be a Barnabus today.
Scattering the ashes of my father’s mother, a Puerto Rican woman who loved her family almost as much as she loved to sing and dance. Now I know where her son Richard (pictured here), Shaun and I got some of the performance gene.
She was a woman, not white, and definitely did not experience any white privilege. Rest in peace, Maria.
