I Know Why I’m Here Now - episode 49
Welcome to Men in March!
After learning men were listening to this podcast designed for women, expressing they found value and inspiration here, it seemed fitting to invite some men to come on the show and to hear from them. I am starting with my dad, Richard. He has led a life wearing many hats, and weathering many seasons. And at age 85 he has recently learned why he is still here. (Compelling, beautiful, epitome-of-love reason.)
I learned things I didn’t know before making this a unique experience. Being able to ask questions of my dad and share in this labor-of-love of mine, bore a conversation I will cherish. He shared early memories, his favorite movie, and a woman who inspires him. We reminisced about how we both chose to stand tall after the death of my son. The way he moved through that is something I admire about him. And isn’t it cool to admire your dad? I think everyone wishes they could have just a little piece of that.
Flexible. Adventurous. Adaptable.
— Richard
All Kinds
Thoughts from I Know Why I’m Still Here
Let me start out by saying I realize there are all kinds of fathers, all kind of relationships. Some never met their fathers. Some lost them in childhood. Some never really connected. Some are estranged for various reasons. Some have father figures they can connect with - the DNA is less important. And some have very close relationships with their children as they grow up and into adulthood.
I grew closer to my father when he was in his 50’s. Before that he was in and out of our lives, leading a full-time bachelor existence. He knows this. It is not news. We have talked about it. For reasons I don’t fully understand I was never mad or resentful for his absence. It was just how it was. I didn’t know any different. When he was in town I was happy to see him and then he’d be off again.
Two things made this doable, if such a thing can be doable. One, my mother never said anything bad about him. This must have been difficult yet somehow she felt it important not to malign him in front of me and my brother. She was very forgiving and full of grace. The second thing is his marriage to Pam. In 1980 they married and began a life together, one that centered around their new-found faith and my dad became a different person.
He grew up. He was now a family man. They went on to have a child together, Matthew. I can remember going out to lunch with my dad and telling him from the heart, Promise me you will give Matthew all that we missed. That will be the best thing for all of us - that we can see you are willing, and able, to devote yourself. And he did.
Instead of feeling jealous or resentful, I really did find joy and peace. It was moving to see all that my dad became. Not only was he now an exemplary father and husband, he became active in ministry, serving at the military brig, leading those there with a word, and song as he has always been a musician. Congas and guitar are his specialty. He has a lovely singing voice as well, and he is brave in putting it all out there.
In a nutshell my father became everything he was meant to be. It was simply on the delayed side. And now I get to see him love his wife with a fierceness that inspires me. He is a loving father and grandfather to all of us. We enjoy our time together and are grateful for the metamorphosis. Thanks, Dad. And thanks, Pam. You bring out the best in each other. ❤️
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you…
- Ezekiel 36:26
