Life Should Feel Good - episode 174
This woman. My three words for Isha Casagrande? Generous. Driven. Beautiful. And not just her appearance although she’s got that for sure. Her heart. It’s as fine as they come. Her joy is to inspire women to be comfortable in their own skin. That can start as simply as a smile on your face first thing in the morning, and putting something on your body that makes you feel good.
As Isha shares there is a lot of good going on in our lives but we need to be careful because the bad screams louder which then tends to get our attention. So what will you focus on? Take it slow, steady, and be a planner so you can free up some time to be. Keep the quiet time simple. This is what she has learned. Isha knows who she is, and knows her calling. Can we each say the same?
Thinking back, be who you are, enjoy it more.
— Isha Casagrande, advice to her 10-year old self
Barbie’s Invitation to Your Better Self
Thoughts from Life Should Feel Good
I described Isha as beautiful and you can clearly see that she is. It made me want to take a deeper dive into the word. Beautiful means pleasing to the senses or mind aesthetically; of a very high standard; excellent. Yes, Isha is all that and more.
Remember the expression, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Margaret Wolfe Hungerford of the 19th century wrote that line in a novel and it’s been around as a common saying since. There have been variations of the same theme by Shakespeare and Benjamin Franklin. Beauty has been debated as subjective since Ancient Greece. All that to say we may find different things beautiful while culture may hold particular standards. Those have changed over the years and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.
Currently, what is considered beautiful? Slender, toned, youthful, smooth. No: fat, loose skin, saggy muscles, wrinkles, cellulite. Yikes! That certainly leaves a lot of us out. Of course these are things we can only control so much. And then there is the way we show up, the way we behave. Are we too much? Not enough? Are we alluring but not too forward? Do we speak up but not out of turn? As I rattle through these questions and different thoughts I am reminded of the monologue America Ferrera’s character, Gloria, gives in the Barbie movie. (Who knew the movie would be so imaginative and have so much to say?) Here it is for those who didn’t see the movie, and for those of us who did and need the reminder about the collective angst of being a woman:
It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.
You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.
But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.
You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know.
While I may not have experienced all these thoughts to the letter I think there is enough validity for women to keep the conversation going, and with the men in our lives too. Isn’t that how things change? We become aware, we think, we process, we talk and compare notes, we express, we choose change and work for it, we show up better and expect more. Isn’t that how a real shift happens?
Bravo to the Barbie team for walking the fine line of necessary societal commentary filled with laughs and clever entertainment. It was a home run in my book. One I definitely did not expect.
Intentionally the movie carefully takes the issue of being beautiful and makes it more dimensional. It tackles how it’s been and also where it could be. That is art at its finest. It makes you think about what you think. It leads you to remember who you are. It invites you into being your better self.
Barbie the movie: an unexpected home run.
— RCN
