Understanding then Compassion then Love - episode 99
I am a fan of today’s guest, Colby Martin. He and his wife, Kate, are co-pastors of a church I attended. What makes me a fan is the humility in which he conducts himself. Plus he makes God beautiful which is the best thing I can say about anyone. In our conversation we talk about the woman who inspires him to burst out of his progressive bubble, whether he actually has an embarrassing tattoo, and why Lord of the Rings is his favorite movie.
Most of us believe we each get one life and what we do with it is the gift of being here. While Colby is in the process to “improve” he has the opportunity to lead a group of people toward full-stop love and acceptance. Isn’t it a far better choice to err on the side of treating other people, everyone in fact, the way we want to be treated?
Improve. Defensive. Patience.
— Colby Martin
When in Doubt…
Thoughts from Understanding then Compassion then Love
I have had my own journey in trying to figure out what I think is okay and what is not okay. What do I mean by that? Earlier in my life it was somehow important to me to have clear ideas of what was right or what was wrong. Maybe because I am part enneagram 1 (individualist/perfectionist) and grew up as an anxious girl, feeling in control of things helped me to feel safe. It’s something I better understand now. It brings me to Colby sharing his belief people do the best they can. I’ve written about this idea in previous blogs myself so I whole heartedly agree.
Let’s get into specifics. (First a reminder that I get to be me just as you get to be you. I will not judge your journey and I ask you not to judge mine.) I remember growing up my mom telling me I should love someone before I slept with them. I took that advice to heart. Of course when you’re young you think it’s love! Fast forward some years and now I’ve got some baggage and I am wishing I had waited. It’s funny how we have a different (better?) perspective as time goes on.
Another one. I am not here to debate morality but rather my own progression through it. One of my best friend’s growing up told me he was gay when we were twenty one. I loved him and it didn’t matter to me. At all. Some years later I now have a son and he tells me during his college years that he is gay. I knew some in our life would view this with unacceptance. Hmmm. I will share it was a confusing time for me as many influences were telling me it was wrong. Through time, pondering, prayer and love, I arrived at the very same place I had started all those years ago with my friend. Bottom line, when in doubt, love. Love.
Being in my third act, I am aware we are messy people. In how we live, in how we walk through life. In what we think, how we feel. There is beauty in the mess. God knows this. He knows my heart better than I do. I really get this now. The other thing I really get now is the confidence I have, the faith I feel, in God being love. He loves me and there’s nothing I can say and do to change that. And because he loves he’s got this whole thing figured out. I now believe, if you pan out to a far bigger eternal picture, it begins and ends with love. So when in doubt…
