Let go of “Sorry” for Being You - episode 88
Jen Haddix and I collaborated. I went on her show, Self-love Yogi, and she came on Unabashed You. You heard her in episode 84 Start by Healing Yourself. After listening to the episode on her show, I thought UY listeners would benefit from our conversation.
The time with Jen reminds me to do the work of healing, to offer grace to those who are doing their best, which is hopefully everyone in your life, and to be confident in who you are. Apologies are for behavior not for being you.
Be who you are without apology.
— Rechelle
Grace is Meant to be Shared
Thoughts from Let go of “Sorry” for Being You
When I had the privilege of going on Jen’s show, we talked about something I feel strongly about, and that is this. No matter who you were raised by, or how, they did the very best they could at the time. It is certain you did not get everything you wanted or needed. I am speaking about the total childhood experiences that made you, you.
Think about it. As we go through those years we are hopefully becoming better versions of ourselves. The progression should hopefully translate into doing better in situations, knowing more. That’s why in many cultures the older pople are thought to have wisdom. (Of course it can’t be across the board but you get where I’m going here.) So naturally if we had things to do differently, we would. I would definitely do things differently in how I raised my children which I’ve discussed some in former blogs. I would have asked more questions. I would have been more accepting, I would have been more patient.
In terms of my own childhood, I see there were deficiencies. Dad not around, mom became a working mother when most moms did not work outside of the home. I was not close, or even very nice, to my only sibling. Somewhere in my twenties after some therapy I came to the realization that yes, there were holes in my upbringing. My job from that point on, as I saw it, was to fill the holes myself. I forgave both of my parents for the times they had ‘missed the mark’ in my life. I realized they were young, inexperienced, imperfect people doing their best. When my father went on to have another child, and I was in my twenties, I took him to lunch. I told him to be sure and be a great dad to this kid as that would mean everything for what he had not been to my brother and me.
Today my father and I have a good relationship. Closer than I imagined. My mom and I have always been close and will continue to be into eternity. My brother? Well I’ve spent the better half of my adulthood making that situation right. I’ve penned letters, written a poem, and even had conversations where I have taken responsibility, expressed remorse (this is exactly when you apologize), and shared with him the love I have for him.
The good news is, when we know better we do better. Thank God. This is where grace comes in as it is meant to be shared. Be lavish with it. Pour it out on others as you undoubtedly would like done for you. It may feel challenging at first but let me assure you of the liberation you will experience after. It’s worth it. Because you are, and so are they.
Let’s respond with grace even when others don’t.
— TobyMac #speaklife
