Complacency is the Enemy of Confidence - episode 190
It all changed when she read Untamed by Glennon Doyle. Elyse Muscha recognized herself in the story and what followed was an evolution of who she knew she was. The confidence came through feeling comfortable in her own skin. That involved some risk taking because one of the biggest lessons for her was the realization that complacency is the enemy of confidence.
Elyse shared these practical suggestions to minimize the negativity and maximize the confidence.
You need to surround yourself with positive people (those that build you up)
Take the risk (do it scared - step on the gas, yellow lights can be complacency)
Mirror time (talk to yourself like you would to others, the more you hear it, the more you will be rewired to believe it)
Take the time to fill your cup (self-care is a must)
Evolving. Empowered. Engaging.
— Elyse Muscha
Her Own Experience
Thoughts from Complacency is the Enemy of Confidence
Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness? If you haven’t you likely have someone close to you who has. This is an area that is frequently misunderstood and one in which we need to normalize a lot more. Thankfully we are moving the needle a bit yet there is much more work to be done.
I have talked about my own challenges with anxiety and panic disorder here in these pages so it may come as no surprise that I would be compassionate to Elyse sharing her bipolar diagnosis with us during our conversation. I instantly admired her transparency. That takes some serious guts and Elyse has that, as you can tell. She also mentioned she has a blog and writes candidly about her life. I asked if I could include an excerpt from one in particular “Conquering the Beast.” That follows here.
Give me a moment to reflect on Kay Redfield Jamison’s book “An Unquiet Mind.” I read her memoir in early 2020. It was after months of having panic attacks that I added panic disorder to my list of health concerns. As I read her memoir, I remember initially being so amazed that someone with bipolar disorder could be a professor of psychiatry at John Hopkins University. Why is that so amazing? People with bipolar disorder can function in society. They can bring just as much to the table as anyone else. They can be educated. They can have high paying jobs. They can make a positive influence on others lives. So then why am I so ashamed of being bipolar? How is Kay any different from me?
It boils down to a lot of things. Mental health still has a stigma attached to it. As much as I wish it didn’t, it does. People understand when you’re sick with a cold, or you need medication to manage your insulin levels. There is no argument there. But they struggle to understand the need for medications for your mind. Kay put it best when she said, “I have become fundamentally and deeply skeptical that anyone who does not have this illness can truly understand it. And, ultimately, it is probably unreasonable to expect the kind of acceptance of it that one so desperately desires. It is not an illness that lends itself to easy empathy.” She hit the nail on the head. I felt most understood by her. By someone so removed from my life, yet connected since we have a similar diagnosis. I felt like I wasn’t crazy. It’s not just my mind. It’s not just me. While I sit here writing this hoping that people will understand where I am coming from, or it will help them be more open with their mental health, I know— deep down— that people will not fully understand my illness. Which is why, at the end of the day, not everyone understands me. That’s ok. That’s not what I’m here to do.
Honestly, I’m here to conquer the beast. I’m here to find the beauty in my illness. I’m here to make the topic more acceptable to talk about. And truthfully? I’m here for my students. (Elyse works in education.) While they may be young, I can already see some of them struggling with their mental health. I want to show them that it’s “Ok, to not be ok.” It’s ok to have bad days. And ultimately, since I will always have neurodivergent students in my class whether it be ADHD, Autism or Sensory Processing Disorder, I want them to feel included. I want them to feel seen. I want them to know I am conquering my beast and they can too.
So today, on World Bipolar Day, (this is a blog from March 30) I’m coming out again. I’m speaking my truth. This day honors not only people living with bipolar disorder but those who died before us. It celebrates Vincent Van Gogh's birthday, who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder. As I think of him, and the beautiful imprint he left on the art community I can’t help but realize there is beauty in pain. He left such a lasting impression for centuries to come yet struggled so heavily with his mental health. Hell, he painted his most acclaimed piece, “The Starry Night,” while a patient in an insane asylum. And while my diagnosis also hasn’t been beautiful, it has taught me to see the beauty in everything. To enjoy every moment because we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. We need to take in the stars tonight…
Thank you, Elyse for sharing who you are so that we might gain more courage to embrace all the parts of us. And yes, may you conquer the beast.
To follow Elyse’s blog you can find it at The Prismatic Pencil Box.
Make a difference by being YOU, all the parts.
— RCN
