Embrace Whatever is Coming - episode 227
Her superpower is encouragement. Amanda Schaefer combines a genuine love of people, and a love of God into whatever situation she’s in. She looks for the good even in the bad and helps those who need it get to a better place. As she tells it, growing is hard, that it takes discipline and that being grateful is a choice, one that is cultivated through training. Telling it like it is, Amanda is the guest this week in our Superpower Series.
Kind. Bold. Tenacious.
— Amanda Schaefer
Now What?
Thoughts from Embrace Whatever is Coming
Sometimes it’s difficult to embrace what is coming. For starters there is the unknown and not all of us thrive in that. Next, what comes is not always pleasant, not always good, and sometimes is downright painful. Like now. We have come to the conclusion that we must surrender a dog. Let me backup to tell the story. Our daughter moved back in with us somewhat unexpectedly last December. She brought with her a dog, Gizmo. We did not want a second dog. As you may recall we have Layla, a golden retriever. The house and our lives are not set up for another dog.
But because love is sacrificial and we do what we do, we were patient. It is noteworthy that I placed ads on several adoption sites hoping for a nibble, a bite, someone who would welcome him with open arms and make him the main attraction in their pet-life. There have been a few inquiries but no one has pulled the trigger. Eventually we got more used to Gizmo and went from tolerating him to liking him. Yep, you get attached given enough time. Ron will remind me about wanting one dog, the one we already have. There are times when you (me in this instance) are called to respect the wishes of your partner. We did not choose to have a second dog but were making the best out of the situation.
You may have some questions. Why can’t your daughter move into a place that takes dogs? She is moving but it is a place that doesn’t accept pets. And she will be working full time and going to school, so not really a great lifestyle for a dog, any dog. Has she had this dog since it was a puppy? No, she got him shortly before she moved back in with us. A military man reached out to her and asked her to take him as he was being deployed and running out of time. She has a big heart and loves dogs.
Turns out Gizmo is well-trained, has been neutered and is a sweet, mostly mellow personality. Here comes the except when. In the past 24 hours I have seen him become aggressive in two different situations. Yesterday he and Layla were starting to be playful. (A rarity but it does occasionally happen.) She jumped on him and he didn’t like it so the next thing I knew there were barred teeth and awful noises coming out of both of them as they appeared to be attacking one another around the face area. I screamed No! No! No! and worked my way to both of them. I think I grabbed Layla by the collar and pulled her away. It was stopped by my tone of voice and actions. They seemed fine after that. I had not seen any of this behavior in the nine months we’ve had him. (Meanwhile adding more ads so that he was now on Nextdoor, Home-to-Home, Adopt-a-Pet, Facebook, Instagram and Frosted Faces.)
The next incident happened today. I took both dogs on a drive around the beach area. (I haven’t been able to walk them due to a recent fall. I’m ok but it did sideline me.) I had my mom with me and we enjoyed the beautiful scenery as we visited. Each dog had a window and their heads hung out, soaking up the sites, smells and sounds. Everything was fine until I dropped my mom off. I was parked in front of her house when a man walked by with his dog on a leash. Gizmo started barking which was not super unusual. I told him, It’s ok. The next thing I know is he has jumped out of the Volvo SUV we were in and has run after the dog. I did not see what happened in the next few seconds as I was working to get out of the car. The man was fighting Gizmo off, I think with his fists. He was successful as I worked to call Gizmo back to the car.
I was profuse in my apologies, telling the man I’d never seen him do anything like that before. (Ok, he does bark at other dogs and we’ve been working on that by spraying him with water when he does, mostly successfully. However I’d never seen him actually reach another dog. Yikes. We could not have this. No, not at all. So for the first time since he’s been in our home I have looked into surrendering him. I have tears in my eyes as I type this. I never thought I would do such a thing. If I can’t be responsible for his actions then I have to think of something else. No one has stepped up so here we are.
I’m on hold with our local humane society. After going through the numeric maze of options I am told by an AI voice that it will be 19 minutes, then 22 minutes, then 18 minutes, then 23 minutes, then 26 minutes even though over seventeen minutes have gone by. Oh well. I feel sick about having to make this choice. Quite simply it sucks. (I never say that.) Here we are working to embrace what may come. I guess we could say not all embraces are happy ones.
Ok, just got off the phone. To surrender him there is a 2-3 month wait as the shelter is at capacity. Another option, the one I selected, is they assign you a caseworker and that person will help find a suitable home or someone to foster him from our home. I’ve got to say, that feels right and it feels good. Like we would want for anyone we love, we want the best suitable situation for all involved. We’ve done our best (I think) and now let’s hope he can find his person. We will wish him well and maybe even miss him a little bit.
Acknowledge, accept, embrace.
Because it is what it is.
