I Didn’t Ever Really Want to Die - episode 256
She realized in later years, once the healing began, that she didn’t actually want to die. Geena wanted the pain to stop and was desperate to find solutions to make it so. In her own words she was a beautiful mess of a human being that didn’t have all the answers. Trauma after trauma left her not wanting to live. At the lowest point she had a plan and told God, I’m going to call my friend and if she answers I won’t go through with it. Thankfully the friend did answer and now Geena Hymer wants to be the person she needed when she was at her lowest. She is our guest this week for Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Ambitious. Relatable. Strong.
— Geena Hymer
Being in the Sweet Spot
Thoughts from I Didn’t Ever Really Want to Die
I marvel at how vulnerable people are willing to be. People like Geena or many others that have graced these episodes. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to open yourself up and share your pain, your struggle. It’s important because there are those of us who need to hear what you’ve been through so that we might feel just a little bit more ready to do the same. If she can get through that then maybe I can too. There is so much hope there, and it can be chosen.
Why don’t more people choose hope? If you choose hope you are taking a risk and that requires releasing something you are afraid of. Fear becomes comfortable, familiar - it’s what you know, and change is scary. Let’s look at a couple of examples in my own life. We’ll look at a “success” and a “fail.” On the success side, when I turned sixty I looked at it as my third act. What else did I want to do with the time I had left? So I started Unabashed You. As I’ve written about before, I didn’t know anything but I learned how through various websites. I was afraid. Afraid no one would listen, afraid I didn’t know what I was doing, afraid of all kinds of things. I could easily have stayed stuck. I’ve done that before and there is a familiarity to that, it’s comfortable. Yet my desire to know ‘what would happen if’ exceeded my fears. If not now, when? So I faced them one at a time. I took one step, and then the next. Various people, and their encouragement, crossed my path to keep me steadfast in moving forward. Doing it scared anyway.
How am I measuring its success? I think it’s primarily subjective. I enjoy it. Having meaningful (and playful) conversations with people has brought me a deep sense of fulfillment. It’s a passion that has become a purpose. The purpose being, I want to encourage people to be who they were created to be, without apology. On the analytics side, it’s been heard in many countries, we’ve had over 250 episodes, yada, yada, yada. I am grateful for sure. Those things are nice but they don’t mean as much to me as the conversations themselves, the connections made, or especially when someone takes the time to tell me how something said made a difference, how something read in the blog inspired them. That is the sweet spot.
Now let’s look at a “fail.” I have dipped my toe in the coaching pool as many of you know through reading these pages. I simply love to encourage. I have prepared content under various themes but am unclear what/how/who/when/where to offer. So I’m stuck at rolling it out. And yes, I have fear. I’m afraid of no, afraid of rejection, afraid of putting myself out there again and again. I don’t think I’ve found the right niche that really hits home and inspires someone to say yes. Through my sixty odd years of life I believe I have things to share that would be of value especially to women of a certain age who are wondering what to do with their third act. This is a fail for me because I still have the desire and have been in paralysis mode with the offering part. And yes, there have been some other creative projects that have been moved to the forefront while this one is moved to the back. But it won’t leave me. I’ve asked God, just today actually, to open and close doors according to what he wants for me.
Believe me when I say it took vulnerability to share this. The good stuff always does. I’m aware I am stuck. I am aware I’ve let fear win. For now. Fails are only fails if you don’t learn from them. So I will learn from this fail, from this place of inability to take more action. I will continue to face the fears, do it scared anyway, and take a step forward. I have to. I get to. I am taking steps to pursue all the creative endeavors with the time I have. The bottom line is being in the sweet spot of the passion I have, the nudge I feel to share what is possible. For you, and for me.
Be brave enough to say yes, then take a step.
Just one to start.
The good stuff: Ron and I at the Eagles concert at the Sphere. Love the lady smiling behind us!
