I Know Because I Know - episode 192
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do." - Eleanor Roosevelt. This is the quote Amy DeFehr and I could not quite recall. It’s so true and one we should remember because the fear of what others think is the number one reason we don’t try things.
Amy defined confidence as, “a feeling of knowing you can do anything, taking it out of the heart and into the head. I don’t need anyone to tell me, because I know.”
Here are Amy’s 3 suggestions to increase confidence:
You have to do things that scare you; get past the feeling, once you do one it leads you to the next
Do something that is a release, accomplish something that is hard (like a workout) or get in nature
Surround yourself with really good people; they see you, know you, and are cheering you on
Amy has been on the podcast before in Walking Off a Cliff episode 26.
Don’t take things so seriously; enjoy being a kid and not try to grow up so fast.
— Amy DeFehr, advice to her 10-year-old self
Is Confidence Sexy?
Thoughts from I Know Because I Know
Is confidence sexy? I ask because I’ve been posting a lot about confidence and we’ve clearly been in a series on confidence. We’ve asked people for their definition and suggestions to increase this very important muscle. Yet I can’t help but think that the very people who likely need more confidence, don’t actually realize they do. Is that strange to say? Or could it be that it’s not a concept we consciously think about? Maybe that’s it. Or maybe even a combo of the two. People who exude confidence are sexy yet somehow talking about it, not so much. What do you think?
I have been grateful for each definition and want to include them all here so we have one place to read them, and to ponder them.
Confidence is
To be in the moment and not worry. - Shaun Conde
A feeling of flow, you’re where you’re supposed to be. - Lindsey Gumm
Having trust in own own self and in your instinct. - Enitan Balogun
Feeling like your best self. - Jessica Stoeckeler
That thing that convinces you you can do something. - Mike Pittman
Knowing in the deepest part of yourself you’ve got it taken care of. - Arlana Scola
Using your platform for good, should use it for others, how to benefit them. - Elyse Muscha
When you cross the divide in believing in yourself in a way you never have before, unshakeable, anything can happen. - Donna Cravotta
A feeling of knowing you can do anything, takes it out of the heart and into the head. - Amy DeFehr
One’s belief in one’s self that they are capable. - Johanna Lobo
So why don’t we talk about it more? Clearly it’s something that benefits us if we have a healthy dose. That’s why I ask if confidence is sexy. I have concluded that it is not. Other words seem to hold more cache:
badass - a tough person (I see this person more as confident than tough. I don’t think you need to be tough to be confident or badass.)
grit or moxie - courage, determination (I do like the sound of grit. I’ve written before about how I see confidence and courage as deeply intertwined.)
And there are others: bold, certain, assured, tenacious, etc. Clearly they mean roughly the same thing: believe in oneself. I have a heart to help the people around me to believe in themselves more. It’s been a challenge effectively conveying that on social media. Yet, there it is. It is one of my passions. I recently asked God to take away the passion if he doesn’t want me to do anything with it. Not a pity party. Realism. We shall see what the big guy has in mind. In the meantime I hope one or more of these blogs has helped you feel just a wee bit more sure of yourself. That is an investment I want to make.
There is nothing more alluring than what you look like when you believe in yourself.
— RCN
