I Needed a Creative Outlet - episode 145
What a delight it was to have a conversation with fellow podcaster, Michele Folan. Her show is Asking for a Friend, and it targets women 50+ with subjects and guests that would be of more interest to that age group. Since I’m in that audience I wanted to have her on and to chat. It turns out we have a lot in common. We both think the Enneagram is a helpful personality tool, we are a part of blended families, and she thinks Bridesmaids is funny no matter how many times she’s seen it.
We are hearing more and more about the importance of making sure you take care of yourself. “Put your oxygen mask on first before you can show up for others,” shared Michele. Since we’re hearing it so much maybe it is something we should pay attention to. It makes perfect sense to me. I also related to Michele’s need to have a creative outlet, following that desire, seeing it through, and putting it out there. We need each one of you to do the same.
Achiever. Energetic. Worrier.
— Michele Folan
Ever Feel Invisible?
Thoughts from I Needed a Creative Outlet
I am grateful for all of the ways Michele is adding value to the lives of women with her Asking for a Friend podcast. Subjects you’ll want to know more about as the guests are straightforward, and they share information they have expertise in, and/or are passion about.
If you’re wondering about the title of this blog, Ever Feel Invisible?, I’ve been hearing about ‘feeling invisible’ more and more, and thought it was time to ponder, then write about it. It seems invisibility can be felt by an individual or by a group. In her book The Power of Misfits, Anna LeMind outlines six possible causes of why an individual might feel invisible.
You are too concerned with pleasing others
You are too afraid to disagree with others
You never voice your opinion or speak up for yourself
You have unhealthy thought patterns that stem from mental illness or low self-esteem
You are surrounded by people who don’t appreciate you
You were neglected as a child
I find these reasons both compelling and powerful. It makes sense. If you have felt any of these it’s not too late to heal, move through, and go beyond. According to Declutter the Mind’s Amber Murphy in an article title, Feeling Invisible: How to be Seen and Heard, she has identified the following areas to work on.
Low self-esteem (find your people and watch this rise)
Acceptance (get out of your own way)
Assertiveness (explain clearly and directly; build confidence)
Emotional safety (create a safe space with trusted people)
Work with a therapist (it’s like trying on shoes; not everyone fits, oh, but when they do - watch out!)
Strengthen relationships (start where you are; practice)
Practicing these will help you feel less invisible. You will build upon your successes and will feel good about where you are headed.
Michele recently had a guest on her show, Asking for a Friend. The episode is, You Are Not Invisible with guest, Kwavi. (I just listened to it - very good.) Kwavi coaches women “to navigate the complex over-50 path powerfully and boldly in a youth-obsessed culture.” I could relate to the following ‘mistakes’ she says women make. (And likely men do too.)
It’s too late
Ignoring your super powers
If you don’t know the answer, figure it out
Get rid of these potential obstacles. In truth they don’t have to exist - you can take small steps everyday to overcome each one. Kwavi guides women to find the thing that lights them up, and then to do it. (Sound familiar UY listeners? This also reminds me of the Quinta Brunson quote, “Don’t let anyone dim you.”) Her advice is to be sure you celebrate all the wins. Science confirms the brain likes to accomplish. Start by loving yourself. It’s not too hard, and you are certainly worth it.
Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.
— Brene Brown
