Music has Always Been in My Life - episode 146
Ron and I met Carisa Santana through her brother Brian. Brian has been on this show before in Be Your Authentic Self, episode 79. During our annual trip to Maui we went to hear him play at Maui Brewing Co. (Delicious food by the way.) Little did we know that his sister, Carisa, would be performing with him. What a pleasure to listen to the beauty of their voices together. It was magical. Now here I am having my own conversation with Carisa. It was a joy.
Carisa is a gifted songwriter, singer and performer. It seems to run in the family. How great is it that her brother inspires her? I got a lump in my throat when she expressed why. While she keeps a private side, sharing with those she trusts, she also loves listening to all kinds of people. She is genuinely interested, and will ask questions to get to know those she is having a conversation with. That usually happens at the gigs she plays. Starting from a very young age music has always been in her life.
Spiritual. Intense. Loveable.
— Carisa Santana
What are you Waiting For?
Thoughts from Music has Always Been in My Life
I thought it was brilliant that Carisa named her I-am-not-enough-voice, Lupita. There must be power when we are aware of a behavior we’d rather do without, call it as it is, and pivot into a better direction. Naming the voice is a creative bonus.
So what is the name of my Lupita? Hmm, I’ve been wondering about that since Carisa and I spoke. I don’t want to make it a name I love, probably better to name it something I’m not too crazy about. I think I’ll play with it, and get back to you if I land on something because nothing is coming to mind that feels like it’s the one.
Anyway you look at that voice that plagues us all, we can learn to minimize it, and listen to it less. Since that is true of other patterns/habits, why can’t it be true of this one?
Is it true? Ask yourself. And how true? We all have varied traits and characteristics. Some we like, some not so much. If it’s very true then make a plan of attack to lessen the strength. Is it somewhat true? Same course, you may get there more quickly. A little bit true? This is something that falls within the norm of being human.
Say it out loud and make it a question. If the first thought is, I’m not lovable, the question would be, Am I lovable? Think common sense. How would you answer your good friend if they asked you this? You would say, Yes, everyone is lovable. (Ok, we’re not going to get into the weeds on toxic, highly-dysfunctional individuals. That’s not who this blog is for. We’re staying in the lane of your average Joe or Jane.)
Make a list. These should be things you can see and hear. Examples of Yes, I’m Lovable and No, I’m Not Lovable. You’ve got your pros and cons list of each. Now set it aside for 24 hours.
Try it on. See if you still think/feel the same way about what you wrote one day later. My guess is there was more emotion involved and your cons column is not going to feel nearly as true as it did yesterday. Whereas your pros column is looking pretty good right about now.
I could go on and on. You’ve probably figured out by now how much I enjoy listening to people, expressing thoughts, and learning more. The bottom line is if you are far too often in the Lupita lane, you likely have some insecurities you need to work on. You likely need to build some more confidence. This should not be something where we accept our life experiences and settle for a far lesser version of ourselves. You don’t want to get to the end (and yes, everyone is going to be there one day) and have regrets about how you lived just a portion of the life you wanted, that you were a shell of who you wanted to be. Right now, I will ask you:
What are you waiting for?
This question plagued me (seriously) several years ago. I kept seeing it and I knew it was for me. This was one of the things that drove me to be more myself, be less apologetic about being me, be more authentic, more transparent, and taking the risk to be more vulnerable. In short I chose to become more secure, and more confident. And now I am living that out through this podcast, blog and coaching services* (being rolled out). It matters to me because you matter to me. Really.
*For more info contact me.
I’m not waiting anymore.
— RCN
