It’s Going to End with Me - episode 241
What happens when your childhood is less than idyllic and you run away from home at age sixteen? That is the beginning of your journey out. Out of abuse, out of trauma. Our Grief and Gratitude guest, Havva Ramadan began a long journey of grief with lots of stages to get to a healthy place of healing because she was determined it would end with her. And guess what? She was able to break the cycle and be the catalyst for change in her family. Through work and commitment, Havva and her family came together in the best of ways before her dad died unexpectedly. A new kind of grief entered. Yet she is thankful for the good that came as she continues to wrestle with the loss of a changed man.
Loyal. Honest. Faithful.
— Havva Ramadan
It Will Feel So Good
Thoughts from It’s Going to End with Me
Her grief is ongoing. As I worked on Havva’s episode, that is something that struck me. We are all different in how we process, cope and heal. I detailed my own experience with grief (and gratitude) last week in “Seize the Hope” (podcast episode) and “Just Like He Said” (blog). Last week’s email seems to have struck a chord with many of you. How I cherish your words! Thanks for taking the time to write your thoughts and to send them my way. And now I am sharing some of them with you. Be inspired!
Unexpressed
I've been scanning your posts re Grief but haven’t been able to listen. One of your early posts before we left, opened my “grief door” but had no time to follow up. However, today I READ EVERY WORD. God reminded me I need to share what He has laid on my heart and how he has navigated me through my grief experiences throughout the years.
I cherish your replies. They bring me warmth and a smile. I look forward to when we can get together and then you can share your thoughts with me.
He Did His Thing
My friend, thank you a million for this episode. You have no idea how much it touched me.
I have had a miscarriage at 4 months, I remember grieving for months although I had other children.
Every day I would wake up at 4 Am, listen to the song “The Goodness” and cry, cry for hours… I can’t remember how it stopped but God did his thing. I am grateful for you to be vulnerable and share your story. You are an inspiration to me.
You are special! You are unique! You are loved!
Oh, life can be so hard, filled with pain. And yet with God by our side we can get through the tears. What helps are the people he places in our path. People like you. Thank you for being a friend and for knowing I am a safe person to share your sorrow with.
You too are an inspiration to me.
Finding Resilience
Thanks for sharing this. I don’t think I truly appreciate how much of this story is in your life, past, and present perspective. I also have experienced quite a journey that even these past months have been transformed by God when He was ready to touch my life in a way to release the grief and find HIM. Not just gratitude, but HIM. Make sense? HIM-atude. Lol!
When it comes to practice, I have found that when I have tried to do it, I have been so up and down. Especially when most of my trials are ongoing vs. something from my past. The ongoing trials USED to be a source of pain and torment. BUT now, because of what He has done, I am finding a resilience I have not known before. Why? Because now when I think about the grace He has shown me, I am blown away and He has given me a "foreign hope.” It's outside of my body if that makes sense. His Spirit for sure. Yes, still pain, single, etc. But, holy smokes, He has delivered me from the lies that used to be over that.
I appreciate your courage and openness.
Yes, finding him! The resilience, the grace, all of the good things only he can show us, share with us, and mold us towards. The good stuff seems to take pain and sacrifice. Things we wouldn't sign up for yet they are there and we must make the best of it. The best way? Surrender. Surrender to him, what he's doing and how he's doing it. There is no other way that is lasting.
Thanks for your thoughts. I am always grateful for them.
Caught in a Web
There was a time that I felt guilty for encouraging you and Ron to continue with your pregnancy with Christian. That you had to endure such sadness, heartbreak. The blessings of your selflessness of giving life to one that a lot of people would have discarded or have not understood their significance and importance in life. I am overjoyed now over the web of grief you have gone through because I see that that web has caught so many blessings in experiences and people who you cherish and love. I love you!
I am grateful for your words. I had no idea you dealt with grief about it and of course God used it for good as only he could. Our friendship deepened immeasurably through that whole experience. I know that I know that I know you are there for me and will be an ongoing source of faith, hope and love. How I am comforted by that truth!
As I am there for you, I love you too.
May you be inspired to take the time to share with someone what you think and how you feel. It matters because you matter. Don’t leave things unsaid. You never know the difference it might make, and it will feel so good to express yourself. There is value there. Really.
Expression is making known what’s inside.
Someone needs to hear what you have to say - share from the heart.
