Judge Only by Finding the Good in Others - episode 110
Betty Estes and I had a conversation while she was in her home dance studio which I thought was incredible. She says you can get a lot of house in Tennessee! Betty is our Believe guest for today and she had a lot of intriguing thoughts to share. Like remaining faithful even when things are hard. Like why it’s essential to check with others about the facts before you draw conclusions.
We will certainly have hard times in this life. Betty survived her darkest hour. She was broken but would not stay that way. Determined to find the good she continues to look for it in others. That is the only thing she wants to judge. Now she heads into a new chapter of retirement, more dancing, and lots of writing and collaborating. I can’t wait to see it all unfold.
Perspicacious. Resilient. Embodied.
— Betty Estes
Flannery O’Connor and Anais Nin
Thoughts from Judge Only the Good in Others
Since I didn’t know much about Flannery O’Connor, one of Betty’s favorite authors, I thought I would check her out. (Betty mentioned O’Connor when she was explaining that she doesn’t really watch too many movies, that she would rather read.) Here’s what I found out.
Flannery O’Connor is considered to be one of the best short story authors of the 20th century. O’Connor wrote about southern life along with religious themes.
Mary Flannery O’Connor (she dropped the Mary in later years) was born and raised in Georgia and died young at 39 years old after fighting lupus for 10 years.
She is known for her collection of short stories, A Good Man is Hard to Find in 1955, Everything That Rises Must Converge published one year after her death in 1965, two novels, Wise Blood in 1952, The Violent Bear it Away in 1960 along with numerous reviews and commentaries.
O’Connor was known for writing flawed characters transforming through pain and suffering, her sardonic sense of humor, and exploring spiritual matters. She gave many lectures on faith and literature.
A few of her quotes that spoke to me:
A story is a way to say something that can’t be said any other way, and it takes every word in the story to say what the meaning is.
Grace changes us and the change is painful.
I write to discover what I know.
Doing a bit of research on Flannery O’Connor got me to thinking about the Anais Nin quote I love so much,
Then the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
I realized I don’t know much about her other than having heard her name before, probably in college, so I thought I’d find out more.
Her name is pronounced Ah-nah-eess Neen.
She was born Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell in France to Cuban parents. (Wow - what a name!)
Nin was a diarist, essayist, novelist, and writer of short stories and erotica.
A few of her quotes I found that I like:
We don’t see people as they are, we see them as we are.
You cannot save people, you can only love them.
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.
It turns out Anais Nin had quite a troubled life. The more I read, the sadder I got. I wonder if some of her genius came from what she went through, some of the choices she made. It seems we can turn hard things into literature, art, and creative endeavors that can bless others. And despite the suffering Flannery O’Connor and Anais Nin both went through, they left a legacy to last the ages. For that we are grateful.
It is the business of the artist to uncover the strangeness of truth.
— Flannery O’Connor
