Love Wins by Storyteller Rick - episode 60
This is when Two Truths and a Lie can be inspiring! Remember they delivered 75,000 pounds of Sees candy during the pandemic so it didn’t go bad. They took it to hospitals, police and fire stations, anywhere they could think of to say thank you for what you do. A kind act of service. And a sweet, delicious thing that did not make the final cut: take a Scotch-mallow, put it into a ready-to-bake croissant and you have, according to Rick, a delicious dream come true.
The deep-dive portion of our conversation is an important one. Rick asks who will be the people you want right there with you when you are in a crisis, or grieving the loss of a loved one. Who are the ones wise and trustworthy? Who will give you the gift of presence, not try to fix things, and BE with you. Then they will DO because they see the things that need to be done. Do you have those people? And ARE you those people to the loved ones in your life?
Sincere. Caring. Fun.
— Rick
Left Behind
Thoughts from Love Wins by Storyteller Rick
As Rick and I talked about the best ways to help someone in their grieving, it got me to thinking, or wondering really, how do other cultures handle this? I imagine it varies but are there certain things that are universal? In doing a bit of digging I learned some things worthy of sharing. No surprise, customs are typically based on religion and/or culture. (It should be noted these are in general terms and may be less-practiced in some areas/cases.) Highlighting a few:
Greece
body displayed at home in the coffin with the lid placed outside the door
burial within 24 hours
mothers/widows wear black for 40 days; males do not shave for 40 days
Sky Burial (Tibet/Buddhist)
bodies left outside for birds and animals
to help send the loved one’s body toward heaven
embraces the circle of life while feeding the animals
The Parade (Varanasi, India)
the body, dressed in colors that symbolize their virtues, is paraded through the streets
sprinkled with water from the Ganges River to help soul reach salvation
cremated in cremation grounds
Water Burial (Nordic countries)
coffins typically reside on cliffs facing the water
body of water as a burial ground
bodies sent adrift on floating structure, giving them back to the gods
“Sitting” Shiva (Jewish)
those mourning sit on low stools or boxes to signify they have been “brought low” due to their grief
mirrors are covered in an effort to not worry about looks, and also for self-reflection
for 7 days visitors gather in one place with the front door unlocked to minimize distractions
Janazah (Islamic)
ritual of bathing and shrouding the body
burial as soon as possible
cremation is forbidden
There is also the “wake” which has its roots in Celtic history and is seen practiced in modern times. It was intended to be a social gathering in remembrance of the newly departed that occurred before the funeral. And many cultures practice “visitation” wherein loved ones may pay their final respects before any structured service.
Obviously this short list is not at all exhaustive. I chose those that were different from those I know. In “Western” culture and rooted in Christianity, the dead are buried or cremated. There is mourning (wearing dark colors to a funeral) and/or a “celebration of life” in which the newly deceased may have left instructions they wished to be carried out.
No matter which format you follow they all have the same theme: a time to say good-bye to a loved one by those who have been left behind. Being left behind is raw, painful and requires practiced love from family and friends. It takes time. You want so much to speed it up; for this part to be over. It cannot be hurried and needs to be thoroughly experienced if you are going to come out the other end in the best way possible. Your loved one would want that for you. Really.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
— Kahlil Gibran
Sources: Britannica.com, funeralguide.com, shiva.com, wikipedia.com
