Peace in the Bubbles - Episode 9
We met in New York at a work conference. Bonnie lives in Idaho while I live in California and yet geography could not stop us from becoming friends. She’s been through trauma and is coming out the other side with hope and healing. Take a listen.
You’ll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart.
— George Michael
Time to Launch (But Heal First)
Thoughts from Peace in the Bubbles
Bonnie’s early childhood trauma, and now the trauma from last year, are both hard to fathom. And yet I know each one of you has gone through something, or many somethings, that have been excruciating to endure - death, harm, loss, betrayal, illness, and more.
How do you get over, or through, trauma? Like so many things it’s an issue of time. And willingness. You have to want to recover. Far too many people get stuck in the time when they were hurt. (And please know I am not talking about diagnosed PTSD. That is a whole different, complex subject better left to professionals.) If you are hurting from a trauma, I am sorry. I may not know your pain but I certainly know my own. Here is list of things that may help:
Desire - when you are ready, and when you recognize you want to get better.
Time - this is probably the hardest one because you have to wait, and that’s not something easily done when you are in pain.
Accept - sometimes we fight how we feel and that doesn’t really help, or we might try denial, or stuffing our feelings. Not good.
Feel - yep; go ahead and feel it - fully. Cry, scream, play sad songs, sing to them, run, dance, walk. Get it OUT.
Talk - to a trusted friend(s), to God, to a therapist, even to yourself,. This is an invaluable way to process.
Write - some people find journaling to be helpful in their healing. You don’t have to share it with anyone. It’s for YOU.
Read - many find reading books to be comforting and soothing because you realize you are not alone. There is also wisdom to be gained from another’s story and perspective.
Get creative - there are many ways to express feelings and to heal them. Some use art, music, etc. Animals can also be a big help in healing. Think about what might help you.
Self care - all of this is good for you. How about taking it an extra step and pampering yourself in whatever way you like. And keep doing it! It is not selfish to take care of yourself.
Help someone else - when you are ready, being there for someone else is very fulfilling. Of course you may not be able to do this until you are far along in your journey - when your wound is turning into a scar.
I can attest that I have done all of these at different times in my life. They are effective. Some days more than others. Because you know in the healing process some days are better than others. If you are working on it please know you are moving forward even if it doesn’t always feel that way. Like Bonnie, soon you will be ready to launch. (Whatever that might look like for you.)
I heard something recently that was so compelling I want to share it. Sometimes when our wounds are fresh, when we are in them, we need time to recover, to heal. We’re not ready to talk about them, share them, just yet as we are newly processing. And that’s ok. Once we have the scar we have had some time and can hopefully gain some perspective that will propel us forward in a healthy way. Then we can reach out to someone else to support and encourage them. And maybe we can help them launch.
Be brave enough to heal yourself even when it hurts.
— Bianca Sparacino
