Shall We Be British Today? - Episode 7
Or maybe everything we talk about today will actually be sung. Or maybe the youngest will decide to be a cat! This is Amanda and her family, who on some days spontaneously, collectively, decide to use accents or to sing anything/everything that needs communicating. Sure sounds fun to me but I kind of doubt my family would go for it. (OK, a couple would but a few would definitely not!)
Beyond the fun of this playful family, Amanda has struggled with identity and self-worth in the workplace. Can you relate? I sure can. We dive deep into these topics and others in her episode.
My greatest pleasure is spending time with my family.
— Siri Hustvedt
Who ARE You?
Thoughts from Shall We Be British Today
I noticed as Amanda and I spoke about worth and identity it became more and more clear to me that our identity, at its core, is who we are. Take away our job, take away family roles, take away interests, take away anything else that is external. What you are left with is the essence, the core of who you are - your personality, your character, your beliefs/values, your drive and passion. These things make you, you. And your essence manifests itself in specific ways through your family roles, job, interests, etc.
I find this fascinating. Because our worth then, who we are, is not dependent on WHAT WE DO or whose wife, mother, daughter, sister we are. It is dependent on who I say I am to myself first, and to others second, how I choose to be in each and every moment, what I stand for, and not just in a philosophical conversation but in real, day-to-day life decisions. How do I move in this world and why? What makes me, me? What propels me into the choices I make?
The roles I have are frosting on the cake of me: wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, other. They make life sweeter. My job, my interests are the sprinkles and decorations. They don’t define the cake but they make it better, perhaps more memorable. If I try to live on just the frosting and decorations I come up with a momentary high but one that is not deeply satisfying. Some may argue that they find their entire worth in being mother, wife, insert job title here, etc. If that’s you then we can agree to disagree. For me it’s like the oxygen mask demonstration on the airplane. You simply cannot give to another what you do not already have for yourself. And that starts with YOU.
If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.
— Charles Bukowski
