Speak it and Seek it - episode 226
This woman has much to offer. As a woman of faith, Wilma Hollis has powerful insights about how to speak life so that we learn that the words we use make a profound difference in how we experience this life. Do we want to shrink or increase? Her superpower is just that, the ability to speak life so that you are encouraged to live out your dreams and make them a reality. If you change your words you change your life. It’s that simple, and that doable. Wilma is our Superpower Series guest today.
Wilma has been on the podcast before in Your Life Speaks to You episode 179.
If you spend time in my presence, you will be encouraged and feel a heightened sense of God’s love for you.
— Wilma Hollis, her superpower is speaking life
Retire the Bird
Thoughts from Speak it and Seek it
I just love Wilma although I’ve never actually met her in person. I sure hope to one day as I find her to be very positive and inspiring. Her faith is strong and she meets people right where they are and encourages them from there. It’s all about speaking life or “life-speaking” as she calls it. That got me thinking (imagine that) about how we can all be better at the words we choose. How we communicate matters.
Which reminds me of an incident that happened the other day. I was pulling into an underground parking structure which had a slope to it. I couldn’t see the bottom as the cars were backed up to the top where I was. The car right in front of me pulled over a bit and backdoors opened to let out two kids. It wasn’t exactly safe but I was trying to roll with it. A couple of moments later the car hadn’t moved forward and I was getting concerned about getting rear-ended as another car might turn in and not realize I was there so close to the top. I decided to give a little toot-toot on the horn as in, Hey, know that I’m behind you and feeling a little unsafe hanging out into the street. Would you pull up a bit so I don’t get hit? Of course it’s difficult to communicate all of that with a horn. Since our car is on the newer side I was unable to finesse it the way I hoped and one longer honk came out instead.
A masculine arm emerged from the driver’s window and an index finger was held up as in, Just a minute. Ok, yeah I understand. Then the arm went in and came back out and the middle finger was given. That’s right, he flipped me the bird. There was a time when I would have gotten instantly angry at such a thing, at the injustice of it all. Not anymore. Maybe that is one of the benefits of age. Instead I thought, Wow, that’s an interesting choice with little reaction. I noted the hairy arm with a gold band that moments later pulled out a parking ticket for entrance. I thought, Well we shall see. There were two levels and I figured the odds of us running into each other were slim so I left it at that. Yet God has a funny way of working.
Sure enough we both ended up on the very same elevator and I recognized the arm. It being just the two of us I felt God was giving me an opportunity to speak. If you know me at all you know how much I desire to be understood. It is a driving force. Once you understand me then do with the information what you will and I’m typically ok with that. But at least understand me first. So I said very evenly, Hey I didn’t mean for the honk to come out like that. Our car is newer and I’m still getting used to it. I wanted to let you know I was hanging out the back of the driveway and was hoping you’d pull up a bit. He looked at me and didn’t say much, something along the lines of Yeah, I was dropping my kids off. I think he was surprised by my directness. Then I said, Was it really necessary to flip me off like that? Again, more surprise. Well… Then me, I think it’s better if we have these kinds of conversations face-to-face as two people who can talk and make a connection. I think there was more Well… as additional people hopped on the elevator. What I wanted to say but didn’t was something along the lines of That wasn’t a very safe way to drop off your kids and Do you really want your wife and your kids to see you handle conflict in that manner? Is that how you want them to resolve things? (Ever the parent/teacher.) Of course I didn’t because that would have been potentially pouring flames on the whole situation and really it’s none of my business except in that it was affecting me. I couldn’t help but wonder. Maybe they would have said Right on. You really showed her. Who knows.
And in a perfectly perfect world I would have given him a copy of Wilma’s book, Life Speak 101: Speak Life and Win. In reading it he “would discover the undeniable relationship between the words you speak and the kind of life you live. It empowers the reader to take systematic steps to demonstrate that their words can impact life's outcomes. Life doesn't have to happen to you.” And yes, he didn’t use words but let’s be clear, that gesture translates to an expression that is most certainly not life-giving. In hindsight I wish I had said one last thing. Maybe, I’m glad we got to connect and try to understand each other. Thank you for listening. Something that would be food-for-thought and encouraging. While we’re at it, how about, Let’s retire the bird. You can do better. We all can.
When in doubt, choose grace. It’s always the better option.
You never know what someone else is going through. Retire the bird.
I did not want to include a picture of “the bird” so used this image instead. It was taken in Masada National Park, Israel in 2019.
