Taking Care of Me Helps You - episode 143
We are hungry for connection. Jennifer Tamman is right about that. A lot of people are drowning in loneliness and could use the power of being with others. Yet how do we get there? Start where you are. Start with the people nearby. We are all looking for things that bring us joy, ways to connect. And we want to be a part of a community that gets us as we are, our authentic selves, accepted and loved. So start showing up as that. You.
Her emphasis on self-care needs to be far better woven into the priorities of our lives. “You can’t pour from an empty pot” she reminds us. I like that Jen is focused on being well, doing all the things you can before you become ill or afflicted with a health concern. What drew me to her was the light she has in showing up on Instagram encouraging us to make positive choices that will benefit us. Jen shares in fun, informative ways. Whether it be better food choices or simple habits we can easily incorporate into our lives. Jen is the_healthyish_scientist.
Loyal. Honest. Relentless.
— Jennifer Tamman
The Art of Supporting People
Thoughts from Taking Care of Me Helps You
🙋🏻♀️ As you can tell, Jen has a very giving nature. She is showing us what she has learned. It’ll help you be a better you, and you’ll be able to reach out and help others be a better them. Really that’s what it’s all about. Showing up, being who you are, and sharing that with the rest of us. Then we are surpassing what we would have been on our own. I truly believe that.
🙋🏻♀️ I have found I like to inspire. I mean I love to support people. I am an encourager to the wanting. Emboldening someone fulfills me in a very deep sense. I believe everyone needs encouragement and not enough people get it. Think about it. Are you receiving the kind of encouragement you need (or want) to keep going in a relationship? In work? In trying something new? In having that new thing bomb? In having that new thing succeed? Or when you are heartbroken? Frustrated? Angry? Sad? There are countless times we need to know someone is in our corner supporting us.
🙋🏻♀️ It turns out there is an art to it. I never thought of it that way. In reading more about it I can see I’ve had the experience to do well. In my careers as sales-rep, teacher, program director, I’ve racked up lots of practice. As wife, mom, daughter, friend I got to hone in on these skills. It helps that I am very passionate about being encouraging. On all skills assessments I test high in this gift. And I do think of it that way. It seems to come naturally, it’s a passion, and it leaves me deeply content to have connected with someone, listened, said some heartfelt things that will hopefully give them renewed hope. I’m not a fixer. I’m there to help that person know they are seen, understood and valued.
7 Simple Ways to Encourage
Listening - Active listening will help you both understand what is being said more clearly. Try not to interrupt or rehearse the next thing you want to say.
Body language - Eye contact shows you are interested, and you care. Be attentive with your body too. Shoulders open, facing them. A gentle touch if appropriate.
Your words - empathetic and inspirational, non-judgmental. You can encourage someone to take responsibility without laying blame.
Ask questions - Not too many, and this is more for them than it is for you. It may help them clarify their thoughts or plans in moving forward plus you may better understand what is being said, and felt.
Advice - Generally when asked. You can gently offer a gentle suggestion by asking a question. Have you considered…? And it’s hard to go wrong with Have you thought of seeing a professional to help you work through this?
Suggestions - This is different than advice. It’s encouraging them to be physical, eat and sleep well, write out their thoughts and feelings, along with future short term goals, and concrete steps to reach them.
Silence is ok - Avoid feeling the need to fill every gap. Your presence alone has impact.
Checking back - This is a must. Put it in your phone (or wherever) to remind you to call, text, whatever within a week or so. More if it seems needed.
🙋🏻♀️ I get that this art is part of who I am, part of my passion, and one of the things that drives me. Encouraging others may not be your thing. Yet I imagine if you thought about it you would realize you like being encouraged in some manner or another, so why not extend that same gift to someone else? It’s not too hard. Start small. You never know how it will benefit them, and how it will bring you joy.
Our prayer group. Encouraging each other for 23 years and counting.
— Celebrating at La Valencia
