What Real Masculinity Looks Like Today - episode 271
This episode is a powerful reminder that masculinity isn’t about fitting a mold—it’s about living with purpose, love, and presence. David Conde, a husband and father—shares his thoughts on masculinity, authenticity, and the power of reflection. He shares how his contemplative nature shapes his life and he reminisces about the joyful impact of family traditions.
David emphasizes the importance of self-discovery, emotional integrity, and remembering the humanity in others—even across political divides. Men can embrace emotional and spiritual depth, move beyond stereotypes, and live with purpose and integrity. David is our guest this week for the series It’s Raining Men - What do they really think?
Contemplative. Curious. Low-key.
— David Conde
Three Yays and Three Nays
Thoughts from What Real Masculinity Looks Like
What does real masculinity look like? Well, I imagine it’s a matter of opinion to a certain degree but I think there are likely a few things we can all agree on. Sure we’ve got the basics like integrity, respect, decency which seem to vary wildly from man to man. I thought I would mention three of the men in my family that exhibit qualities I admire.
Ron - he will barely be able to read this because he epitomizes humility. Let’s add that one to the list. There is something very attractive about a man who is humble. You can plainly see they possess things they don’t need to be humble about, but they choose to be humble anyway. This is sexy. There is a quiet strength that comes from this and Ron’s got it. Plus he gives me a great sense of “home” wherever we are.
Shaun - is full of kindness. Another trait that deepens who a man is. Shaun is able to thoughtfully look at someone else’s situation, make a choice that show he has thought of them and then chosen something that might lighten their load or help them be understood or help them be seen. I have seen him do this time and time again. It feels good to see this in another human, and in this man in particular.
David - is steadfast. He has a deep sense of commitment and is somebody you can count on. His word means something and you can’t say that about just anybody. I admire the life David is living and it is based on loyalty to his convictions. As we chatted about in this episode, he is a deep thinker. He intentionally makes decisions and then sees them through. It has been an honor to be his aunt and to have watched him grow into the fine man he is today.
There are so many more qualities that could be added: authentic, understanding, good sense of humor, great listener, thoughtful…I think the list is practically endless. I would also have to add faith to the list. For me at least there is something that suggests greater depth when someone has faith. It’s the difference in another dimension.
What about the flip side? While technically these qualities don’t disqualify manhood they sure make an individual less appealing.
Cocky - another name for this would be prideful, arrogant, etc. You don’t have to tell me in a braggadocios way about your accomplishments. It’s not that I don’t want to know but the way you do it makes all the difference. Look how great I am vs. I want to share with you these things. It’s a heart posture.
Degrading - this can come in comments (and attitudes) and my guess is if you polled a group of men and asked them if they were degrading in any way they would likely say no. It can be awareness or learning that certain things come from an attitude of ignorance or superiority. I and my group are better than yours. It’s a put-down any way you slice it.
Indecent - not thinking of others or reading the room. I don’t want to hear your lascivious remarks or your foul language. Truly we have really lowered the bar on this one. It seems more apropos to ask Who is decent? Is there such a norm anymore? I do see it from time to time out there but I wish I saw it more.
It’s interesting. As I reread this I am struck by the fact that the latter descriptives seem to apply quite tidily to a certain political figure. (I imagine you can fill in the rest.) For those men who want to be anything but, thank you. I see you.
