You Believe What They Tell You - episode 248
Yes, you do believe what they tell you. You start out as a kid, you don’t know any better. So if your family of origin is dysfunctional, and they constantly put you down, you feel small, unseen. That messes with how you see yourself. Why wouldn’t you believe it? It’s all you know. Cindy Attar is our guest for the “Let’s Talk About Mental Health” series. She shares moving out of that house at age 18 began the changes that are still taking place today. Through various modes of healing, most notably hypnotherapy, she took the long journey back to herself. And now she knows she’s good enough.
Insightful. Easy-going. Humorous.
— Cindy Attar
Snapshots We Keep
Thoughts from You Believe What They Tell You
It makes sense that as you are growing up you believe what you hear. You have nothing else to compare it to until you get to school and even then who knows if your experience there will counteract or enhance what you already believe about yourself. I marvel at the guests who have been able to overcome tremendous adversity. Yes, they bring all that trauma with them yet somehow they not only survive, they thrive. I am big on that. Just getting through, settling, or being satisfied with less, seems like a waste. I know that is easy to say and harder to live. There are circumstances that make it difficult and sometimes impossible to flourish.
What I heard from my single mother growing up, and I believed her, was that I was capable, and I was smart. There were hugs, smiles and positive talk. To help broaden my perspective, she brought up other viewpoints. (I definitely came out of the womb as a sensitive individual and that played out in various ways particularly in my early life - see other blogs.) Once I got to school I can remember various snapshots of moments I can still easily recall that impacted me, mostly positive: sitting up very tall in my chair in 2nd grade so I would have a chance at being Posture Queen for the week. We got to wear a crown while it was our turn; being chosen in 3rd grade to bring in my toothbrush and show the proper way to brush teeth; 5th grade bringing in records and holding a “dance” in room 12 (my friends and I were so boy crazy); running for Vice President in 5th grade and losing to John Corden; then in 6th grade being the first female president elected in my elementary school (yes, I’m that old); in 6th grade the teacher throwing a chair because he got so mad at the girl who sat next to me; dancing to “Little Surfer Girl” in 9th grade with our ASB advisor (you wouldn’t be able to do that today); being in English class in 10th grade and discovering I liked to write because the teacher was so positive about my work.
That same teacher who was also a coach became a mentor, and later a friend. This man believed in me, in what I could do, and who I could be. He told me You are going to college in that matter of fact way he had, adding You are going to be a teacher, an English teacher. And of course he was right, mostly. A teacher, yes but of elementary school aged kids. Gosh, I loved it. Those years were a mix of creativity, inspiration (for me probably more than for them) and fun. I made sure to encourage them and to help them see what they couldn’t yet. I believed in who they were, and in who they could be.
I think that’s the point of this blog. Start right where you are and do what it takes to believe in yourself. (Therapy, reading, affirmations, writing, mentors, friends, podcasts, assessments, etc. What about prayer? Why not believe what God already does.) And while you’re at it look around and see who else you can pour into. It doesn’t have to be a deluge, it can be a trickle or even a few words strung together that convey to another, I see you. I see your worth. I believe in you. Then take a snapshot with your heart to hold on to a moment that matters.
Good and bad, certain moments become timeless.
They influence who we are and how we see things.
Student teaching in Solana Beach a million years ago.
