You Have to Get Over This - episode 168
She likes to do something that scares her, just a little bit, every day. This week’s guest, Kelly Robinson, noticed she was stuck in the comfort zone. Going to networking events was challenging as she hung out at the cheese table, not really wanting to take the risk and walk up to a stranger to introduce herself. What did they think? Was she bothering them? She decided it was time to get over it. So she did. That’s where the choice do things differently changed her life completely.
It really can be the small steps that add up to big changes over time. There are several best-selling books on that very topic so it must be a thing. Kelly gets it. She started a podcast Kelly Minds Her Manors, and she’s expanding her real estate business to Miami. While those are bigger things they took small steps to realize. Grateful for all of it, you will no longer find her just hanging at the cheese table. She’ll be connecting with others, finding out how they turned their missteps into progress because she’s curious, empathetic and relational.
Empathetic. Driven. Honest.
— Kelly Robinson
In a Word: Surfer-Chick
Thoughts from You Have to Get Over This
Baller. Badass. Kickass. Kelly and I used these words during our conversation to describe being strong, being exceptional. They were a natural part of our discussion, they just came out. You’ve likely heard them too used in a positive way to express being fierce, tough. As you likely know, if you’ve read these pages before, I am fascinated by words, how they sound, but most especially what they mean. And in my lifetime a lot of words have gone from having negative connotations to having positive ones. Like the three words previously mentioned. Or like bad. Remember when bad meant well, bad, the opposite of good? Or when sick meant someone who was sick? Now they both mean cool, awesome, rad.
It got me to thinking about what the other popular slang words are out there and how every generation has them for sure. In my day it was fox or foxy if someone was cute, gnarly if something was difficult or challenging. Cool meant what it’s meant all along - excellent, neat, boss. And there was Can you dig it? meaning do you like it? Being of the surfing culture we had jargon that is more well known now like, getting tubed, hanging ten, and being stoked. The movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High is not at all far from what I saw. Jeff Spicoli was like many guys I knew, and yes, some talked that way. Incidentally the high school it was based on was in the next town from where I grew up. They were east of highway 5 which was considered very uncool as it was farther from the ocean.
I was a surfer chick, no doubt about it. Now that doesn’t mean I surfed although I did try it here and there, I never became full-fledged in that sense. Surfer chicks hung out with surfers. We had a particular style of hair at one point: bangs that we would train into ‘wings’ off of the center part of our hair. We wore puka shell necklaces before they became a thing. In my subculture we bought authentic “swabi” pants at the store Buffalo Breath (and Hawaiian shirts before Tommy Bahama got a hold of them). They were authentic Navy pants that were white and had a button up fly. We spent each summer at the beach, having rode our bikes from however far away we lived. In my case it was four blocks.
We spent hours on the beach getting tan. Sunscreen? Never heard of it. We did use ‘Bain de Soilel for the St. Tropez tan.’ Those are the lyrics to the ad and I can sing it for you if you like. It was made up of orange gel-like goo that smelled really good and made your skin shiny. It definitely helped with the tan. We didn’t get as burned then as we seem to get now. Tan lines were a thing to keep a close eye on and to compare with your friends at the end of the day. Look at my tan line! We would put our forearms next to each other to see where our tan was, how it was progressing.
A great memory I have is of when I was on ASB (Associated Student Body), I served as secretary I think, and our advisor was Coach Greg. This was middle school (junior high back then). Any time there was a dance I was sure to be one of the first to dance, if no one was getting things going, grabbing some boy I knew would say yes. We need to dance! Coach Greg and I had a tradition. Whenever the song, Little Surfer Girl came on by The Beach Boys we would dance. We made sure it came on at every dance. Now let me tell you a few things. 1) This was a slow song. 2) There was never a hint of impropriety. 3) It was special and I looked forward to it at every dance. To me it was like dancing with my dad (which I’ve never done) or an older brother (which I don’t have). Sadly, and understandably, this could never happen today. Coach Greg would be fired and would likely be cancelled. I might be expelled or given a talking to by some authority figure that I likely didn’t respect. Those don’t usually go well.
Back to my point. As I look back I see intention meant everything. His. Mine. It was chaste. (Now I can give you loads of examples when someone’s motive was anything but above-board. That is for another day, another blog.) I’m not so sure intention matters as much anymore, and I wish that it did. Sometimes we think the worst instead of looking for the best. I will keep my memories of being a surfer chick, liking boys with white hair, hanging at the beach, and dancing with Coach Greg tucked away in a sweet spot to cherish. He was a badass before he even knew what one was.
Can you dig it?
At a school dance in my “swabi” pants with shell necklace and tan mid-drift. Clearly Kathy had just told me something I was very surprised by. :)
