Be the Advice You Give Your Kids - episode 232
Becoming in 3: Part 2
Let’s be clear. I am not into self as a form of ego, pride or toxicity. I am into loving yourself as a creation of God because remember when he made man he said it was very good. And we are. Already good enough, I know we struggle with the reality of it. Fear creeps in, self-doubt lingers and we become less than - we settle. This is the part I am speaking to, the part I want to remind myself about every day.
Self-realization is defined as the act of fully developing one's abilities and talents, or achieving the possibilities of one's personality or character; it is fulfilling one’s potential. So in other words, it’s healthy. This is what I want for me, it’s what I want for you. Are you there? Because I know I’m not. Yet I get to keep pressing forward and onward. I believe this is what God wants for me, for you.
Today we’ve got part 2 of the Becoming in 3 series. We are looking at knowing yourself. Why does it matter? It matters because you do. And you want to live the very advice you give your kids or anyone that you love. You want it for them. Why not want it for you?
The content is from a workshop I gave for Social Club Live with Isha Casagrande. I wanted to share this with you too.
My mom told me the Bloom Scale from last week’s episode went pretty fast so I am going to have it be this week’s blog (below).
Independent. Fierce. Distinctive.
Our kids: his, mine, ours and theirs
Flower Power
Where are you on the Bloom Scale?
Thoughts from Be the Advice You Give Your Kids
Here’s the quick assessment mentioned in last week’s episode that may have gone too fast if you were listening without recording your answers.
Go quickly, don’t overthink. Select 1-5 for your answer to each question.
Use these answers
1 - Weak, mostly 2 - Lacking, often. 3 - Average, sometimes. 4 - Very good, occasionally. 5 - Excellent, hardly ever
To these questions
1. Where are you in your life right now - are you tight in the bud/weak, full bloom/excellent or somewhere in between?
2. Do you worry about what others might think of you?
3. Do you play the what-if game?
4. Do you think you’re not good enough?
5. Do you compare yourself to others?
6. Do you often find yourself wishing you said or did things differently?
7. Do you have a fear of failure or a fear of success?
8. Would you say some kind of fear, or more than one, is stopping you from being all you want to be?
Scoring Yourself on the Bloom Scale
(8-19) SEEDLING/BABY’S BREATH Lady, let’s infuse all that’s possible to get you growing! Recommendations: hard work on reducing fears, self-reflective journaling, intentional questions of those closest to you to get a better perspective, self-assessments to see who you are, journaling with gratitude, practicing positive self-talk.
(20-25) GERMINATION/DAISY It’s time to up your game through learning more about yourself and realizing you have unique gifts to be shared. Name them and claim them! Above all you need to feel secure within yourself and to believe you are of value. Recommendations: self-assessments to see who you are, journaling with gratitude, practicing positive self-talk.
(26-31) GROWTH/CARNATION You are a tad below where you likely want to be so let’s get this party started - you don’t have to settle for less. Truth is many women would rate themselves here, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Let’s keep going up the scale to gain more positive self-belief. Recommendations: listening to inspiring content and seeing yourself in the story, writing out the 10 things you like about yourself, and growing opportunities.
(32-37) FLOWERING/TULIP This is above average, and you are well on your way to being fully who you are. You are also likely aware of the roadblocks that are holding you back from being more. Which fears are still a part of your life? Tackle them one by one. Recommendations: keep it up, fine-tune specific areas with focus, practice gratitude and service. (By the way, this is where I score. I’ve been baby’s breath and worked my way up)
(38-40) FORMATION & DISPERSAL/ROSE Congrats lady, you are in the sweet spot of where we all want to be! Confident in the way you walk, talk and think, a role model for all women. You got it going on. And when you do experience self-doubt, you reflect, accept but don’t stay there for long. Balance! Recommendations: keep doing what you’re doing, becoming who you already are.
Now you know where you are on the Bloom Scale. For now. Remember you don’t have to stay there. Using some of the ideas above about knowing yourself, soaking in who you are is the water of the 3 parts of becoming, blossoming or growing, the ING of things. Think about it. There are so many modes of learning and understanding so do the ones that work for you. You can: READ | WRITE | LISTEN | SPEAK | DO and then BE. If you prefer to read, then read. Or if you prefer to write, then write. Any combo you like. You get the idea.
Here are 10 different jumping off points:
Reflection: What are 10 things you like about yourself?
Mindfulness, meditation, prayer: Who does God say you are?
Interests: What brings your joy?
Feedback: How do you see me?
Assessments: Who are you, really?
Beliefs: listening to inspiring content, seeing yourself in the story
Risks: Are you willing to do it scared?
The Past: What have you learned that help makes you, you?
Care: Are you looking after your body, mind and spirit?
Therapy or counseling: Do I need a professional to further any healing?
These are mix and match and barely scratch the surface of what is possible. You can google or do some of the personality assessments I talked about in this episode. I learned so much doing them. Remember I talk about these things because I need reminding too! And the quote that keeps me going ever forward -
Then the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom..
— Anais Nin
