Check in with People - episode 221
Yes, he’s definitely an empathetic individual, no question about that as a superpower. Shaun Conde takes that strength wanting you to know he’s ready to listen and to be with you in whatever you’re going through. And maybe that’s why he was drawn to his profession as a performer. By telling stories, performers can help make people feel different ways, and can help alleviate stress.
Wondering what your superpower is? Shaun shared three ways to figure it out. First it keeps coming up again and again. You can’t help yourself. Next it fulfills you - you can even feel it physically bring you joy. And lastly people let you know. Listen for the feedback, it’s likely there so pay attention to claim your own superpower. It’s part of why you’re here.
Words are magic.
The words you choose to use with people and yourself have the ability to build up or to tear down.
— Shaun Conde, a current quote that is inspiring him
The “f” Word
Thoughts from Check in with People
I wholeheartedly agree that words are magic. They have power in them. They are how we communicate both to ourselves and to others. Words also say a lot about who you are - the ones you choose, the ones you don’t. Let’s have a conversation about those. One in particular. The f-word and all its variations.
I’m sure you’ve noticed how this word has crept more and more into everyday language, into books, movies, TV shows, podcasts, even casual conversation, etc. It’s gotten worse as it went from a rare event to a pervasive one. Let me start off with a confession before we get too far afield. Yes, I have certainly uttered the word on occasion so I’m not going to tell you I haven’t. I try not to but sometimes it’s the word that seems to best convey the feeling. And yes, I have even told someone to “f-off” and another time “f-you.” I’m not proud of it, not in the least but I don’t lose sleep over it either.
My favorite usage was after having a particularly painful procedure done in the palms of my hands (PRP for those who may know it - your own blood is taken out, spun and refined somehow and then they put it back in). The doc and his assistant were ultra fast and I think that was for a reason. Once they quickly left the room after the reinsertion, I mouthed “mother-f*er” with all my might as quietly as was humanly possible. Yeah, it felt great to say it, and quite frankly I had no idea I would ever string those two words together as I never had before, and have not since. Go figure.
I think my observation is that there are people who use it too much, who overuse it. There are times when it feels forced, contrived and not at all organic. In my opinion it shows a lack of imagination, and it’s lazy. I am thinking of a podcast I listen to and one of the hosts uses it every third word or so. It’s obnoxious. I start to question his intelligence. (Is that snobbish?) So why don’t I stop listening? That’s a good question. One I haven’t answered yet. I notice that I’m listening less lately. And another actor who I have long supported said it more times than I thought necessary in a lengthy print article. Hmmm. Yep, he’s human but I lost a bit of respect for him if I’m being honest.
Another thing I find fascinating about it is how ugly the word sounds. Is that because of my generation? Sure, in part I guess. Yet these words sound fine to my ear: duck, truck, muck, cluck, buck, Huck, luck, puck, tuck. Take off the first letter (or consonant blend), add an “f” and not so much. I think it’s ugly sounding for a reason. When used it’s meant to express anger, contempt or disgust, or back to its original meaning - sex. In casual conversation though it’s sprinkled in to mean…not much of anything anymore. And I think that’s my point.
For me it shows a lack of character, a lack of self-control. I’m sure you know people who for them this is not a go-to word. I appreciate the discipline it takes to come up with alternate ways to describe and express feelings, to tell a story. Don’t we aspire to be better? To set an example? To be light? I’m referring to intention here. Letting one slip, or using it to express a strong feeling is human. Making it a part of your everyday, go-to vocabulary seems like you’ve lowered the bar maybe a bit too much. Something to think about. The quote, Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should, is going through my mind. Maybe we need more of that.
Word choice is a part of how we see you.
What do you want us to think?
