Explore More of YOU: 5 Love Languages - episode 127
đź”™ We re-recorded episode 126 on Myers-Briggs because of sound issues. Revisit when convenient.
And thanks for your ongoing support! ♥️
Today we are looking at the assessment tool the 5 Love Languages at https://5lovelanguages.com. The site has subcategories of Romantic, Friendships, Family and Workplace so you don’t have to be in a romantic relationship to find it helpful. This info is for you, about you.
While this assessment started as a tool for romantic relationships, it is clear it can be used across the board. The Five Love Languages is a 1992 book by Gary Chapman. It outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love:
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Physical touch
Acts of service
Receiving gifts
Hillary and I both agreed the 5 love languages has value. Once again it’s a way to understand what makes you, you. The better you know yourself, the more likely you are to have a healthy self-concept, and have meaningful relationships with those who are in your life. And if you want to share your own findings let me know. I would find it fascinating to hear how this was for you. I love connecting!
Love is a choice you make everyday. (Cheers to that!)
— Gary Chapman
A Different Kind of Love
Thoughts from Explore More of You: 5 Love Languages
Herman’s Story
Thought it would be fitting to include the love we have for our pets. Yes, it’s a different kind of language, and a different kind of love. Let’s start with Herman, the cat Hillary is holding in the picture. There was a time when Hillary (and Herman) lived upstairs from my mom. Apparently Herman loved to visit her. He would meow at the door which was at the bottom of Hillary’s stairs so my mom could let Herman in. He would stay for a time visiting and hanging out. Then when he was ready to go back up to Hillary, he would meow on my mom’s side of the door, she would open it, and he would meander back up to his home with Hillary.
Hillary was 22 years old when she got him, single and living alone. There was only one cat at the shelter she visited that day. When the enclosure was opened he jumped into her arms. They had named him Mr. Man. Hillary knew in an instant that had to change. Herman it was.
Fast forward eleven years and 12 moves later. Now married, moving into a house they bought to start their lives together, Herman got sick the first week. He stopped eating, his white parts turned yellow. The vet explained they could add a tube but that was not a quality of life he would want. As many of us have had to do, Hillary made the horrible decision to say goodbye.
Six months after he passed she got pregnant with her first child, Harrison. A natural draw, not giving it much thought she bought a black-and-white stuffed animal. As a baby he gravitated to it, making it a constant in his life. Now school-age, he sleeps with it every night, comes down with it every morning, takes it on every trip, every airplane. Of course he named it Herman. It has become Harrison’s favorite thing of all time. Hillary believes when Herman the cat died he went up to heaven and made the way for Harrison.
I know Hillary really misses Herman. He was a character of a cat who lived a long time and brought her joy with his unique personality. While Herman is no longer with us, Hillary and her family now have Dash (who spent some time with Herman), and Sparky to keep them company.
Layla’s Story
Those of you who know me, or follow me, have heard about Layla before. She’s a golden retriever (our third one) and she’s coming up on two years old. Clearly she’s bigger now than in this picture. I’ve even written about her before or at least I think I have.
Layla thinks she is part mountain goat. By that I mean she jumps in ways I have never seen our dogs do before. She can be perfectly still and then levitate 3 feet in the air onto something. Layla would be a good long-jumper and would no doubt score big-time in some event. It seems to me she can clear 10 feet no problem especially if she’s had a bit of a running start. It really is something to see. We find her highly entertaining. Most of the time. (There’s got to be a bit of rascal in her, right?)
On the curious side, Layla is obsessed with paper and leaves. As in she wants to help bring in the mail (I think we might have encouraged that, after all she is a retriever). We typically give her a piece of junk mail (Why does that still exist?) and she will carry it with such pride and majesty like she’s leading a parade. Of course we have to eventually take it away or she will chew it up. The leaf-thing is fascinating from a behavioral point of view. She will bring in several a day at least, and sometimes she collects them at the back door. Layla seems to like the ones that are on the crunchier side. Full disclosure: When we were looking at getting a dog, we watched a video about the puppy that would be Layla. Someone was waiving a bouquet of flowers in her face and moving it away from her, so that she would walk towards it. She occasionally got a bit of a bite. I can’t help but wonder if that’s how it all started.
“Merging” is something Layla is very interested in. She wants to lay on you, sit in your lap, and she often steps on your feet. Her sense of where she is in space in time is definitely skewed. Perhaps it is a leftover from her puppy days.
Lastly, I’ve learned from Layla (like our pets do). Through her I’ve learned to be in the present as she is, how to be more patient, and that loyalty means something. I often talk to her throughout the day, narrating what’s happening and I even ask her questions. Then she will look directly into my eyes with that soulful, endearing expression, and I can’t help but tell her with a big smile, I love you Layla.
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.
– Anatole France
