Explore More of YOU: Spiritual Gifts - episode 129
Here we go with another assessment tool to help us figure ourselves out. We’re looking at spiritual gifts in this episode. (We used spiritual gifts test.) You may not know what these are. They are thought to be helpful in determining how you have been crafted as a human being. The ‘gifts’ cover categories like leadership, administration, wisdom, and also more faith-based ones like faith, serving, and mercy. I believe anyone would benefit from taking a look at this assessment although clearly it is designed for those of the Christian faith.
We are committed to encouraging all people regardless of how they identify spiritually, and if they don’t. No matter what, we want you to show up in your life fully you. And never to feel apologetic about it. You’re here to do the thing only you can do so let’s be sure we know ourselves well enough to do exactly that.
Never pass up any opportunity to share your gifts with the world.
— Russell Simmons
Surviving Church-Hurt
Thoughts from Explore More of YOU: Spiritual Gifts
In relooking at my complete results, I am very surprised evangelism didn’t score the lowest. It was eleventh place out of fifteen. First off evangelism has a negative connotation and rightly deserved I might add. Next I have no interest in trying to persuade people to think like I do, to believe as I do. It would be audacious of me. Now if you want to hear my story or ask me questions, that is another thing all together. I will come to that table respectful, listening, and asking questions. We will converse. It will be my goal to hear where you’re at, and to meet you there. I will want you to do the same.
When this doesn’t happen, when you are not respected, when you are taken advantage of, there is hurt. Sometimes this hurt comes from well-intended places but it is hurt all the same. I was having a conversation with a friend about the different kinds of church hurt. First let’s define it. According to loveisbroken.com:
It is the emotional, spiritual, and physical harm caused by a church (I’m adding leader or representative) regardless of intent.
Obviously this is unacceptable on any, and every, level. Have I been church hurt? Oh, yeah. Emotionally and spiritually but not physically. I’m not sure one is better or worse than the other. It all hurts. It’s all painful. Getting back to the different kinds.
Judgment - forming opinions that assign blame, and sharing those opinions
Faulty leadership - insensitivity or mistreatment of one or more people
Rejection - gender, race, sexual orientation, age, political preference, economic circumstance discrimination
Incorrect Teaching - there is a very large spectrum from the far right to the far left of what to believe, how to apply it, and how scripture is used to back up said opinion
As much as I find these interesting on a personal and global level, I am dismayed there is any hurt at all. Why the surprise? Wherever there are people there will be imperfection, mistakes, and that’s a guarantee. Christians are no exception to this rule of thumb. It’s what is done next that matters the most. And I think a lot of church hurt comes from people who won’t, or can’t, make things right. They don’t see it, they don’t get it. They don’t want to learn to be, or do, better.
For starters you have to do the individual work of healing, of processing. There is no skipping this step. It is critical for well-being. There are many resources out there about how to start the recovery process. Therapy can be one good place. Different things will work for different people and likely it may take an assortment of disciplines to start getting a handle on the pain and working to make it through the other side. (By the way, it’s never forgotten and can be called up in the right situation. All normal.)
For me the most important part of the aftermath of church-hurt is to look behind you and see what has happened since. When enough time goes by you can see how God is using it all for good. He doesn’t waste a thing. I truly believe that. If you can’t find anything, look again and really delve into your life since the pain. Now there is healthy processing and there is a place of staying stuck. It’s a choice to stay stuck. It’s also a choice to move forward.
This podcast came after a big church hurt. I can see that God used some of my deepest pain to steer me in a direction that was committed to the virtues of authenticity, transparency and vulnerability. I might not have arrived here if things were different. That’s my point. I think it’s a far better to focus on the good. You aren’t going to change the events, they are not something you would volunteer for, so why not look for the valuable. I’ve done it and I know you can too.
Your greatest ministry will most likely come out of your greatest hurt.
— Rick Warren
