I Was Taking Myself More Seriously - episode 260
She came out of the womb talking. At least that’s what her mother said. Then a teacher told her she was a good writer and that stayed with her for many years. Dawn R. Ward revisited her love of writing and is now a published author of a faith-based book for parents of addicted children. And she knows all about it, having been through it, not once but twice. Dawn realized she could process what she was feeling in a creative way, and help others by sharing her experience. The willingness to be vulnerable is not lost. It’s brave. Next Dawn will be tackling fiction because she’s taking her gift of writing more seriously. She is our guest this week for Thinking through My Fingers - a Writers Series.
You can find Dawn at Dawn R. Ward or Faith to Flourish.
She has been on UY before in We Weren’t Going to Have These Problems and I Wouldn’t Wish Addiction on Anyone.
I’m a tactile learner. I realize I absorb information better if I'm writing what’s on my mind.
— Dawn R. Ward, on why she writes
Beauty in the Chaos
Thoughts from I Was Taking Myself More Seriously
A blog by Dawn R. Ward
“He has made everything beautiful in its time…” Ecclesiastes 3:11 ESV
My husband has a gift. He can do just about anything with his hands. Building, creating, remodeling. You make it. He’s a master craftsman. He can look at a dilapidated old house and visualize it completely restored. He can imagine its finished form and bring his vision to fruition. Our house is his masterpiece. From custom crown moldings to meticulously laid tile floors to a fully landscaped backyard, you name it, Steve’s created it. I am in awe of his ability to see beauty in what others might consider a mess.
Recently, I realized how my mind looks at beauty. When I look at our backyard, for instance, I can enjoy the array of flowers and colorful trees. I can admire the intricate stone and block work that brings shape and form to our once barren plot of land. But if I’m not careful, my eyes will wander to its imperfections. If something is out of place like a hose or a rake or a trash can, my brain automatically focuses on it. These distractions pull my attention away from the beauty I should be admiring. I start focusing on the negative, the broken, the ugly, and in doing so, I risk missing the breathtakingly beautiful. Steve can look past these distractions and admire the beauty of a job well done. For this perfectionist, things are beautiful as long as they are in order. But more often than not, God places beauty in the chaos, in the unexpected “unravelings” of the life we expected.
When I think about how my loved ones’ addictions have affected me over the years, I realize ongoing traumatic events have programmed my brain to see the ugly, the broken and the imperfect. Now, if I’m not careful, I look past and ignore the beauty, the awe, and the breathtaking in the world around me. My mind wanders to the disappointments, heartaches, and headaches, blind to God’s creative handiwork in the lives of our family as he creates in us something beautiful. My eyes fail to see his beauty hidden in the ashes of despair and regret.
Our minds are like that, aren’t they? Our thoughts easily gravitate towards the negative like water running downstream. It takes effort to look up and see the surrounding beauty still present in a world where chaos abounds. Satan distracts us by pulling our attention away from the beauty displayed in the quirky and messy things in our lives, determined to convince us that even slightly damaged goods aren’t worth keeping. The beauty of the imperfect is lost in search of the perfect. Both people and possessions are disposable, of little value, and easily discardable.
Maybe that’s what life is really all about, learning to find beauty in the imperfect, the fragile, and the broken. Perfection can only be found in the Perfect One, Jesus Christ. The world and people are flawed and imperfect, but still, Jesus chose to reveal himself through his creation. As I survey my life, like surveying my backyard, I always come up with a list of things that need spruced up before I can accept the beauty of the masterpiece God created in me, his beloved daughter. I see the flaws, the cracks in my armor I’ve covered with good works, hoping others won’t notice. Instead, I should have allowed the Lord’s grace to shine through them, and through me.
Maybe you are like my husband, someone who sees beauty all around him, even if it’s not perfect. Someone who is not distracted by things being out of place. Someone whose mind looks for beauty in the least expected places. Or maybe, like me, you have to work harder at it. Maybe life has programmed you to see its ugliness. Don’t let it. Sometimes we simply have to choose to ignore the stain on the carpet to admire the beauty of a clean house. Or overlook a few weeds in the flowerbeds to take in the glory of God’s creation.
May your life be filled with all things beautiful. May you find pleasure in the beauty of imperfection as you embrace the Perfect One today and always.
“and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”
Writing is my time with God in the mornings with my coffee. It’s a time my mind is clear. It’s how I see him.
— Dawn R. Ward on how she writes
