We Weren’t Going to Have These Problems - episode 208
You take a small town girl who marries early, has kids and enjoys a couple of successful careers. But along the way two of your children grow up to become addicted to drugs. One started with experimentation and got hooked. A year later the other one was given pain medication after a surgery and ended up becoming dependent. How on earth do you help? Dawn R. Ward found herself somewhere she’d never thought she’d be - helping other parents with children who are in the throes of addiction. Of course this was after her own sons were recovering. It’s been years of practice, learning what works, what doesn’t, and now she can encourage others. She has faith to flourish.
Determined. Resilient. Overthinker.
— Dawn R. Ward
What’s in a High?
Thoughts from We Weren’t Going to Have These Problems
When I think about how easy it could be to become addicted, I am amazed more of us aren’t. In the case of Dawn’s sons one experimented, which is not all that unusual when you are in high school or during your early twenties. I tried pot in my early teens. I know some would argue about potential addiction with that drug. I’m not going to go there. I didn’t really like it but tried it to appear cool and “with it.” We were at a girls’ slumber party and of course the boys crashed it. The parents of the friend who was having it, were nowhere to be seen, and I don’t think they really cared that much, which is why we liked going over to her house. I went because she was a good friend and being the boy-crazy girl I was, was not going to miss out on an opportunity to be around the boys. A bunch of us walked down the street to a canyon-type area and the joint was lit. I took what I will call a puff. It was definitely not a big pull into my lungs and it’s likely none really went past my mouth. But I could now check that particular item off my list. I didn’t really feel anything afterward so definitely did not get high but I got to continue being the cool surfer chick I was known as.
When it came to drinking alcohol I was not one to get carried away. The first naughty foray into underage drinking was at a girl’s house that I didn’t know that well. She invited me over and we tried Boone’s Farm, some fruity flavored thing. It was awful and I didn’t drink very much. In the ensuing years I would occasionally drink, not to excess, and I never threw up from drinking. Looking back I didn’t like feeling too out of control (imagine that, as someone who prefers control!), and I certainly didn’t want to feel awful the whole next day. Plus the whole idea of not remembering what you said or did, did not appeal to me. I can have fun sober, thank you very much.
Am I trying to paint myself as a saint? No. I am not wired to like smoking pot (did it on other occasions and the last time I did, I could not feel my toes, and freaked out). I’m also not wired to drink more than a sip or an occasional light cocktail. I have digestive issues which make me feel like I’m drinking acid no matter how tasty the said drink is. So if I imbibe it’s with food and it’s minimal. Plus I want to feel energized and not lethargic the next day. Even having one cocktail renders me quite lazy the day after.
I will confess that I tried cocaine in my restaurant years and I liked it. Thankfully for me I did not become addicted but I can totally see how a person could. For me it was a fun high, as long as you didn’t overdo it because if you did then the fun came crashing down. It was social and very prevalent in the 80’s. I would not consider doing it again. It’s more of a been there, done that kind of thing.
I have been prescribed opioids after a few different surgeries. I tried to minimize the use for a couple of reasons. I did not like the high. Secondly they are so constipating! But here’s what I realize. For some people it would take only one time to try something, and then they could be hooked. You simply don’t know if you are prone or not. There may be a genetic component that toggles the first time you experiment. Or maybe it comes shortly after because you enjoyed the altered state. Think about how many things are popular now: marijuana is legal in most states, mushrooms are back, microdosing hallucinogens is a thing as is ayahuasca, meth, cocaine/crack, heroin and ecstasy to name just a few. Then there’s fentanyl killing so many. And of course there is the king of them all: alcohol. Legal. Not only socially acceptable, socially promoted.
So what really is the point? Many humans like to alter their state for a variety of reasons. Not everyone balances this well or even can. Some people become dependent, then addicted. You may not know until it’s too late which camp you are in. Be careful. Find out about family history. Get help early. Find something that gives you a more natural high. Remember how good it feels when you are strong, and can do hard things. There is bliss to be had. I promise you, you won’t find it in a bottle, a pill, in powder or a syringe. Chasing the high is a black hole to hell. Nothing good comes from addiction. Nothing. Just ask any recovering addict - they know.
Chasing the high is a black hole to hell.
— RCN
