Keeping Her Faith Alive - Part 1 (episode 288-1)
For starters she’s challenging, fun and loving.
Yes, I can attest to that. Rae O’Rourke affirms that she is spicy and bold because of her faith, and also as she explains, that’s how God created her. When it comes to comparing herself to others she’s observed a pattern. If she misses a day of two or faith-reading she notices she feels off, that something is not right. A devotional, some worship music, and back to the word align her once again. Rae has learned the value of setting aside that intentional time to keep here faith alive.
Rae is our guest this week for Spicy Christian Women - Becoming all that and a bag of chips. This is part one.
Challenging. Fun. Loving.
— Rae O’Rourke
Curtail Comparing - 4 Ways
Thoughts from Keeping Her Faith Alive - Part 1
Comparing ourselves to others is an ongoing temptation that is very hard to avoid, especially now in the age of social media and quick access to loads of information. Rae’s intentional shift to her faith is a sound one. I wish I could say I do it all the time. Nope. Sometimes. My better self will shift focus and remember I am who God says I am. But when I get caught up in what the world is doing, I find I look to compare because I want to feel worse than I already do in a particular area: She has a successful business! She has loads of followers! Her family looks so together! Of course we have no idea what is actually going on behind the scenes, only what has been curated for our consumption.
Or if I have a moment of wanting to feel superior, I will compare and think: Looks like I’m doing that better. Looks like I have more success in x, y or z. I’m not proud of these moments but they are real, and since I’m human I will have them The better part of me will accept we all have our own journey and each one is unique in their experiences, their ‘successes’ and their ‘failures’ too.
So how do we cool it with the comparison trap. Here are a few ways you can consider:
Limit social media - Yes puppy reels are cute, and some of the prank ones get me laughing hard but if I spend too much time there I will end up down rabbit holes that don’t necessarily help me feel good about myself or will waste time I will later wish I had spent elsewhere. I work to spend about 15 minutes a day on Instagram. (Admittedly I have cued up content previously created so that I just have to hit a button.). I rarely check Facebook or LinkedIn because I do not want to take the time to invest more in those platforms. (And yes UY has a YouTube channel but we have a young’un who is in charge of it and I probably drop in once a month to check things out. That one is an experiment. More on that another time. Oh, and if you want his info because you’re thinking of diving into those waters, reach out and I’ll connect you.)
Practice the Attitude of Gratitude - We hear about this one a lot but are we actually practicing it? None of these are have-to’s or shoulds but you may want to consider one of these practices: a gratitude journal, making a list of things you’re grateful for - this can be a number you choose or free form, google gratitude prompts, buy gratitude workbooks. Sometimes I like to use the alphabet as a guide and choose things that start with each letter. It’s challenging and I enjoy it. So you see the possibilities are endless. The point is to be intentional. You can think something is a good idea but until you do it it’s just that, an idea, not a practice.
Focus on YOU - Since you are the only one you have any real control over, it’s imperative your focus is here, on you. What are you doing in your life to grow forward? Do you take time to reflect? To set goals? To learn? To play and enjoy? Thought-work is really popular right now and it’s a way to trace how your thoughts create what you experience. What are your strengths? What are your challenges? You can brainstorm ways to navigate them.
The Big Guy - First off he knows you’re human and he knows you will compare at times. He also made you to be unique, unlike anyone else. Did he make a mistake? I don’t think so. You need to, you get to, embrace what makes you, you. The same way you love your children in who they are - star moments, warts and all - he loves you more. Mostly I can’t wrap my head around that but I know it’s true. And if it’s true for me, it’s true for you too, and for each of your kids, and everyone else on the planet, even the ones you’re not so crazy about. (That one stops me humbly in my tracks from time to time. In a good way.)
Of course there are other recommended ways to stop comparing yourself to anyone else, and to step into, and believe, how fearfully and wonderfully made you are. He said so, and I believe him. You get to choose what to think, what to believe. Choose wisely and just bloom.
A flower does not think of competing with the next flower. It just blooms.
— Zen Shin
No idea who he is, but I love this quote.
I took this picture of a bouquet at Pike Place Market in Seattle. I could not get over its beauty.
