She Sees God in All Things with Quiet Confidence - Part 2 (episode 274-2)
To continue the conversation, Haley and I dive into the very real challenges women face when it comes to embracing all that God has for them. We talk about the fears of not fully understanding His plan, the pressure to do everything, and how often people-pleasing can leave us anxious and disconnected from our own growth.
Haley shares the value of slowing down for self-reflection—even in simple ways, like listening to faith-based podcasts—and reminds us that small steps can open big doors for spiritual renewal. Together, we explore self-acceptance, the courage to be yourself even when others may not approve, and the grace that comes with patience on your unique journey.
We also discuss the book The Courage to Be Disliked, which offers a powerful reminder to live humbly yet unapologetically true to who you are. And through it all, we affirm that every feeling is valid—what matters most is how you choose to move forward with it.
This is part two of our conversation with Haley for the series, Spicy Christian Women - Becoming All that and a Bag of Chips.
For both the joys in life and those really tough times, I found that I have really needed faith and trust in God to get through the light and the dark in this world.
— Haley O’Connor
The Courage to be Disliked
Thoughts from She Sees God in All Things with Quiet Confidence - Part 2
Haley and I chatted about The Courage to Be Disliked. I will tell you it is a tough read. Not the material itself, but the format. It’s done in conversational style between the older mam and the younger one. They go back and forth with questions, and somehow I couldn’t really get into the meat of it all, the essence. What were they trying to say amongst all the Adler quotes? I do like the title and what it implies, so let me ask Google AI to summarize the book. I’ve been meaning to do this for a while so that I could get the gist of it without slogging through it. Here we go:
Core Concepts
Happiness Is a Choice:
You are not determined by past experiences but by the meaning you assign to them, meaning you can choose to be happy now.
Separation of Tasks:
Interpersonal conflicts often stem from intruding on others' "tasks" or responsibilities. Focusing on your own tasks and allowing others to do the same fosters freedom and healthy relationships.
Shift to Community Feeling:
Instead of focusing on self-interest and a desire for recognition, cultivate a "community feeling" by focusing on your contributions to others. This fosters a sense of value and happiness.
Live in the Present:
Life is a series of moments, and focusing on the present rather than the past or future is essential for living earnestly and effectively.
Key Principles for Gaining Freedom
Discard the Desire for Recognition:
The need for others' approval is a major source of unhappiness and a barrier to freedom.
Embrace Horizontal Relationships:
View others as "comrades" rather than in hierarchical terms of superiority or inferiority to foster a healthy sense of belonging.
Recognize and Overcome Life-Lie:
Individuals often create "life-lies" (excuses) to avoid difficult life tasks. Eliminating these self-imposed limitations requires courage.
The "You" Is an Unbreakable Entity:
The philosophy of Adlerian psychology, presented in the book, suggests that you are a single, indivisible entity, not a collection of disconnected parts.
Practical Application
Don't Live for Others' Expectations:
Live your life on your own terms and do not be swayed by others' judgments or expectations.
Focus on What You Can Control:
You can change your perspective and actions at any time. Focus on your own tasks and your contribution to the common good, as this is the only way to change the world.
Take Responsibility for Your Life:
Own your choices and actions to break free from victimhood and find true freedom and self-worth
Well, I’d have to say these are all excellent ways for us to live, compatible with faith, and would make things easier, and more enjoyable for all. At the same time I agree that it takes courage to be disliked. We seem to inherently want to please others, and have a keen interest in what others think. Yet, we need to gather up some of what it takes to be ‘brave enough’ to be all we were meant to be, let the rest fall off, and leave it behind. Whose in?
For me, this is the opinion that matters the most.
The TobyMac #speaklife sayings are very inspirational
