Strength Came after Doubt - Part 1 (episode 285-1)
Have you ever wondered what to do with your doubt?
Today’s guest, Joanna Mayo has had her own periods of doubt, expressing three different things that made the difference. She explored through reading, most notably Savannah Guthrie’s book, What God Does which provided comfort and hope. Joanna became more intentional in her faith through prayer and worship along with recognizing how being authentic and vulnerable is a place she finds strength. Finding the people that support you and seeking out new connections is the advice she shared. These were the beginnings of a process that ultimately renewed her faith.
Joanna is our guest this week for Spicy Christian Women - Becoming all that and a bag of chips. This is part one.
You can find Joanna on Instagram at Joanna Mayo.
Beautiful. Anxious. Vulnerable.
— Joanna Mayo
A Feeling of Uncertainty
Thoughts from Strength Came After Doubt
Joanna spoke a lot about doubt. When you hear that word, what comes to mind? Is it in reference to your own life, your own abilities, your faith? When I think of the word doubt a couple of things come to mind. Surprising, right?
First off I think of my faith. As I’ve recounted in these pages, I have not really had doubt in my faith. Sure, I’ve wondered about things that have happened but as to God’s existence, I have not. I do not diminish anyone else who has had those thoughts as I know God understands and can handle where our minds go. He already knows what goes on in our heads so why act like those thoughts, those questions don’t exist. He gets it.
I believe it is through doubt, through pondering the hard questions, that our faith can be strengthened. Wrestling with what it all means, and why, seems like the natural order to me. Those who have had to endure painful experiences or chronic maladies will likely have a dark night of the soul. Some don’t ever come out the other side and in a way, who could blame them. But those who do are transformed into deep thinkers, grateful for the goodness of life, and hopeful for the future. I imagine you have encountered these people and they’ve likely left a mark on your heart.
The next kind of doubt I’ve had is through personal ability. Strictly speaking the definition of doubt is: a feeling of uncertainty, a lack of conviction. And on some level, doesn’t that speak to confidence? If you’re confident then you feel certain, you are committed to what you can do. When I first started teaching, I had some doubts that I could excel at teaching. I knew I could do the basics but wasn’t sure I could help kids thrive. When I was first a mother, I had some doubts about meeting my son’s needs in an excellent way. Again, I knew I could do the basics but that wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to be excellent.
And really, what is excellence? It’s extremely good; it’s outstanding. That is what I strive for in everything I do. Do I make it consistently? Definitely not. Yet I think it’s the best place to start and a sweet place to land. You’ll miss the mark many times, as I have. I’ve learned to go easy on myself and to view it as practice, as learning, as growing.
I’ve recently been introduced to the idea of a B- being good enough. That not everything warrants the A. This has translated into permission for me to lower the bar especially if that bar brings stress and/or anxiety. You can see we’ve meandered into new territory here. I’m learning to discern what I want to strive for the A in, and what gets the B- effort. It’s been a helpful distinction.
Back to doubt. I know there are things I can do. I know there are things I want to share. And I know that I will keep putting goodness out there, that I will keep encouraging others to do the same. I believe it’s one of the reasons I am here. Of that I have no doubt.
Doubt leads to questions. Questions lead to trying things on. Trying things on leads to keeping what fits.
— Traveling in Antwerp, Belgium
I used to doubt I could travel far and wide (due to anxiety). Now we do. It took practice as I kept what fits.
