Strength Came after Doubt - Part 2 (episode 285-2)
Did you know that being vulnerable is a gift?
It’s a gift that requires you to be honest with yourself, and to do that takes the courage to be you without apology, regardless of what others think. Joanna Mayo has been learning that her ability to open up is a super strength. It is one that helped her understand not everyone is ready for that kind of depth. Not everyone can handle it. So while you may be doubting yourself, Joanna has come out the other side and you can too. She is here to tell you being vulnerable is a gift and she is all the stronger because she has embraced it.
Joanna is our guest this week for Spicy Christian Women - Becoming all that and a bag of chips. This is part two.
You can find Joanna on Instagram at Joanna Mayo.
Saying ‘yes’ to God opens doors and gives you a stability you could have never given yourself.
— Joanna Mayo
The Mark of Your People
Thoughts from Strength Comes after Doubt - Part 2
But what about when you choose to be vulnerable and it is not well received? That is a quandary, one that doesn’t feel very good. You feel exposed, you’ve really put yourself out there and the other(s) don’t get it. They don’t get you. Joanna spoke of this and I have to say I can relate. Maybe you’ve had that situation too where you feel like you’ve been left hanging. Or maybe you’re so careful that you’ve not allowed yourself that risk.
I am going to guess that Joanna is glad she took those chances in sharing what was deeply personal. In fact she talks about vulnerability as a super strength and I have to say, I agree. I think the tricky part is deciding when and with whom. Sometimes you calculate and it’s a misfire. It didn’t go over. It didn’t fit. You weren’t greeted with understanding. May I suggest that if you’ve ever felt that, that it was a matter of timing and/or of recipient.
Not everyone gets you. Not everyone wants to get you. If you find it’s not a match after you’ve chosen to expose a part of yourself, then move on. We talk so often on this show, in these pages about finding your people. It is essential that you do! We were not born in caves by ourselves to go through life alone. And if you’re having a hard time finding your people, do not give up. Do not expect people to knock on your door and ask for an application. It’s likely not going to happen. What you can do is start small. A book club with one other person. A walk with a new acquaintance. The possibilities are fairly endless so keep going until at least one other person values you.
As for the ones who don’t get you, are not your people, you may find they are still in your life through work, family or other. What to do then? You simply put them on the Pleasant Program. This is where you are genuinely pleasant in their company but you don’t seek them out to further a relationship that was not real enough for you to pursue. This can be a kind of love. We get confused, especially if we are people of faith, that we must say yes to things and to people that don’t work for us. Sometimes love is saying no. Honestly you are not obligated to be on the receiving end of a relationship that isn’t healthy for you.
I have had to do this in my own life. To a few I’ve had to say, I have made peace with the failure of our relationship. Literally. To a few, I’ve put in the Pleasant Program. I have learned where the line is and I respect its existence. To those who are actively in my life (the ones who have been there for most of it), to the new ones who have become one of my people, I relish the connection, I am privileged to be vulnerable with you, and I am the shoulder, the ear, the heart for who you are. You are one of my people.
The long haul. A few of my people.
— Vintage 80’s. The hair!
