We Need Something to Grab a Hold Of - episode 265
Isn’t it true when you are going through something ridiculously painful, that you want to know that someone else gets how you feel? Someone else has been there and can share their own experience with hope, and strategies to get through it. Well Amber Jeann Parker understands this and she wants to empower you with her story in a time of difficulty. Her book is The Forgotten Caregiver of Mental Crisis for she herself supported, and took care of her husband while he struggled. Amber has written an inspiring book filled with practical suggestions and lots of hope. She is our guest this week for Thinking Through My Fingers - a Writers Series.
You can find Amber on Instagram at Amber J Parker and on her author website Amber J Parker.
Amber has been on the podcast before in Is There a Way Out? and I’m a Truth Teller.
To empower and inspire others. I have something to say now.
— Amber Jeann Parker on why she writes
Truths On Suicide
For the Caregiver and the Loved One Struggling
Thoughts from We Need Something to Grab a Hold Of
An excerpt by Amber J. Parker
Suicide is a battle many face—silently. When many voices come together in solidarity on this difficult topic, it allows for conversations to occur and stigma to break. This battle catches you unaware whether you’re the one struggling with thoughts of suicide or you’re the caregiver supporting a loved one battling suicide. The caregiver is the closest support person for the one struggling with suicidality. (Suicidality is an all-encompassing term including anything associated with suicide including: suicidal ideation, intention, attempt, plan, etc.) Both of you need encouragement, validation, and support in the midst of your battle for life.
Here are truths for both of you.
Truths for the Person Struggling with Suicide
If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or of harming yourself, know this truth.
Your life matters. You have purpose, and your life has meaning. Keep hanging on. Don’t give you. Be brave and choose to start mental health therapy to help you with what’s going on inside of you.
Don’t listen to the lie that it’s the weak who go to therapy. It’s actually the opposite. Those who seek out therapy are strong and brave.
Find a trustworthy, supportive therapist. If you are already going to therapy, keep going. Don’t give up. I went through therapy myself and my loved one did also—EMDR therapy. EMDR therapy helps process emotional pain, including trauma, because it helps stuck memories become unstuck. It’s a powerful treatment.
Truths for the Caregiver of Suicidality
I see you, friend, feeling alone and overwhelmed. As I care-gave for my loved one, I often felt that way too. Second, I want you to know it’s not your fault your loved one struggles with thoughts of suicide or has mental illness. Also, you can’t control their decisions, but your support is crucial in helping them fight their battle against suicidality.
God held me up when I had no strength, and He gave me the strength to continue caring for my loved one with suicidality and caring for my family—to keep fighting for life. I hope you can hold onto His power and strength also.
Now, I know your focus right now is on keeping your loved one alive. That is crucial. But do not forget yourself in the process. If your burden becomes so great that you burnout and have nothing left to give, then who will care for your loved one, your family, and who will care for you? Identify small ways to care for yourself and your needs in order to replenish your strength and give you the energy to keep persevering. You matter, friend, and it’s important for you to have the support you need also as you care for your loved one.
There can be support for both of you as you fight for life.
Walking the Mental Crisis Caregiving Road
It is never easy to walk the road of caregiving for suicidality, fighting for your loved one to stay alive and get better. It can be a lonely and overwhelming road. I walked that road for almost 2 years caregiving for my loved one. Since then, we have both done extensive EMDR therapy as well as faith-focused growth through our church. We are growing toward health. We are finally at a place where I have the honor to share our story to benefit others in the middle of their own mental crisis caregiving story. My book The Forgotten Caregiver of Mental Crisis will be published soon and integrates neuroscience, faith, professional recommendations, personal insight, and lived experience together. I wish I’d had it in the midst of crisis. May it bless you and support you in your own story. May you have a friend alongside and not feel alone in your battle anymore.
And now, I ask you: What truth stuck out to you? What resonated with you or you needed to hear?
Always remember, you can call or text 988 in the U.S. to reach the suicide and crisis lifeline if your loved one is struggling or you yourself are struggling and need support.
You are not alone in your battle.
This is adapted from the article: Truths About Suicide: Truths for the Person Battling Suicide & Truths for the Loved One, the Caregiver, of Suicidality.
I want to thank Amber for her insight along with her willingness to take what she’s been through, and to share it. These are not easy things to live through much less to talk about and learn from. I have appreciated each writer sharing their work. We are better, stronger, and brighter together than we can be on our own.
Begin by taking small steps of risk. Then keep choosing to commit. You will learn your style.
— Amber Jeann Parker advice on writing
She is holding the manuscript for The Forgotten Caregiver of Mental Crisis
