Coaching Changed the Way She Sees Things - Part 1 (episode 302-1)
How do you see things in a new way?
Well, it starts with paying attention to your thoughts because they are what direct your feelings, which lead to how you behave, and the result follows all of that. You may or may not like how it’s going and so you have the choice, the opportunity to change how you look at things.
Becky Brouwer is our guest this week and she knows first-hand the power in this art (and science, actually). It has helped her be a ‘sendy’ mom which is someone who has the courage to face fears and to go for things, to say yes to the hard things because she looks at them differently now. At the top of a mountain about to ski down a hard run, she changed her thought and it made all the difference.
Becky is our guest this week for the series What’s with All the Coaches and Why you Might Need One. This is part one of our conversation.
You can find Becky at beckybcoaching.com and on Instagram Sendy Mom.
Adventurous. Ambitious. Active.
— Becky Brouwer
The Better View
Thoughts from Coaching Changed the Way She Sees Things - Part 1
Through our coach training, Becky and I have learned the benefits of paying attention to the thoughts we tell ourselves - in that it makes me think of the difference between reacting to something versus responding to it. Let’s break it down.
reaction - is fast, automatic, and emotional, often occurring without conscious thought.
When you react your emotions are front and center and you are likely making decisions based on your feelings. You are in it, and going with whatever is bubbling up inside of you. Angry? Afraid? Sad? Disgusted? Enjoyment? Notice that of these five basic human emotions, only one seems pleasurable. The rest come and are typically not fun to feel.
Now feelings are neither good, nor bad, they simply are. However they are fleeting and this is important to remember. They do not stay with us. So to base decisions on them may not be the best choice for you or for those around you.
This is where responding can come in.
response - is intentional and thoughtful, involving critical thinking and an evaluation of the long-term consequences.
Responding involves taking a beat with what you are feeling, to sift through some thoughts regarding the situation. You get to use the part of your brain that thinks things through - at least more than you would otherwise. You try on some possibilities and weigh what might happen. You can factor in feelings for sure, but the next step is not without thought. It’s intentional. That’s the difference.
So the next time you get the urge to go full-tilt with your feelings and choose an action you can’t un-choose, take a beat and let your higher self decide what is best for all involved. My guess is you’ll feel better in the long run. And as I have told my daughter many times, Take the high road. The view is better.
The difference between responding and reacting is a choice. When you react, they are in control, when you respond, you are.
— Dr. Henry Cloud
