Come What May, and Love it - Part 1 (episode 306-1)
Nicole Gardner is bubbly, energetic and engaging - those would be my three words to describe her.
She is already a certified life coach and is working towards a second certification.
One of the things she keeps handy is the idea that life is 50/50, there’s some good stuff and some that’s not, no matter what. You get to choose how to look at and it will be transformative if you let it.
Her family has a motto, something they say nightly after prayers, Come what may, and love it. It is all at once hopeful, present-minded and brave not to mention inspirational. Her clients will definitely get a lot of goodness from working with her.
Nicole is our guest this week in our series What’s with All the Coaches and Why you Might Want One. This is part one of our conversation.
You can find her on Instagram at Mom Coach Nicole.
She has a podcast coming soon called Becoming.
Fun. Loving. Loyal.
— Nicole Gardner
It’s Meant to be Fun
Thoughts from Come What May, Love it - part 1
When I hear how Nicole describes herself as: fun, loving, and loyal, a playful picture comes to my mind. The same is true if you see her photo or interact with her in person. Playful. When was the last time you were playful?
I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while, and the point really came home when Brene Brown wrote about it in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection. (Do I quote her enough? Can you quote her enough? Haha, not sure.)
In the book she outlines 10 Guideposts to Whole-Hearted Living. One of them is Cultivating Play and Rest. Part of life is actually meant to be fun. When was the last time you had fun just for fun’s sake? Turns out not only is it enjoyable it is good for the brain, helps us grow empathy (who knew?), navigate relationships, and is at the heart of creativity.
These are the points she gleaned from Dr. Stuart Brown’s (no relation) research on play. There are seven properties, so see how you’re doing.
Apparent Purposelessness: Done for its own sake rather than to meet an immediate survival need, earn money, or achieve a productive goal.
Voluntary: Entered into freely without external compulsion or obligation.
Inherent Attraction: Fun and stimulating in its own right, making it naturally rewarding.
Freedom from Time: Losing track of hours and being fully immersed in the present moment.
Diminished Self-Consciousness: Dropping worries about judgment, performance, or how you look to others.
Improvisational Potential: Being open to spontaneous change, creativity, and new ways of doing things without fixed rules.
Continuation Desire: Wanting to keep going simply because it feels good, creating a natural urge to return to the activity
Also, play is not an option. Look at a young child and you will see they are playing for fun, playing to explore, playing to learn about themselves even. Can you imagine a child who does not play? Can you see that God was the one who designed us with this feature that (in my opinion) he did not expect us to outgrow or give up on just because we got older? No thank you. Not interested.
My question to you is, do you choose to play? If you do, keep up it up. If you don’t, get some play into your life. Here are the five main ways (according to Google) if you need ideas.
Body Play: Yoga, dancing, hiking, and sports that build physical fitness and release endorphins.
Ritual Play: Board games, card games, chess, and video games that improve strategic thinking and brain power.
Imaginative Play: Painting, crafting, storytelling, and comedy that build creative thinking.
Object Play: Building with Lego blocks, sculpting clay, or making things that foster problem-solving skills.
Rough-and-Tumble Play: Wrestling or play-fighting that helps develop self-control and social boundaries.
Want to get some joy into your life, pronto? Try and play some more. You’ll be glad you did.
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
— George Bernard Shaw
Sandy and me playing Scrabble a million years ago
