Come What May, and Love it - Part 2 (episode 306-2)
Her heart is for the stay-at-home mom.
She wants each one to choose happiness through cleaned up thoughts, and simple strategies. While it may sound like a tall order Nicole Gardner is well aware of how important the role of mother is in having six herself, and being ten of eleven kids.
Since becoming a coach she better understands how we can transform our lives by changing our thoughts which will result in showing up differently, even happier. Nicole has done the work herself and it changed her life.
Nicole is our guest this week for our series What’s with All the Coaches and Why you Might Want One. This is part two of our conversation.
You can find her on Instagram at Mom Coach Nicole.
She has a podcast coming soon called Becoming.
Mothers are the most important thing in the world, they shape the future of all people.
— Nicole Gardner
Happiness or Joy?
Thoughts from Come What May, Love it - part 1
I would say that Nicole presents as a woman who is happy, one who experiences joy. But what’s the difference? Is there a difference? I am going to say that yes, there is a difference between happy and joy, at least in my book. In my mind being happy depends upon circumstances. Are things going well? Are they in my favor? If so, I feel happy. It feels very surface level to me.
Although if you look up the definition of happy it can include the word joy.
happy - feeling or showing joy, gladness or satisfaction
No offense to those who define it in this manner, I just don’t happen to be one of them.
Now when it comes to joy that is a different story. Joy is deep. Joy doesn’t depend on circumstances (at least not exclusively). It is found in the heart and it is active in cherishing the things that person holds dear.
joy - a strong feeling of great happiness, gladness or delight.
One could argue that happiness comes from the outside while joy comes from the inside. Yes, I rather like that. It rings true.
Let me think of an example of each in my own life just from today. I was happy that the line at Staples for Amazon returns was short. I was equally happy that the line at CVS was also short. (Not usually the case, and these are errands that are hardly fun. Could the Staples workers be less enthused about working there? Although I did have a nicer gal today who kept calling me a term of endearment which escapes me at the moment with my sixty-something year old brain. And could the CVS receipt get any longer? Honestly does anyone even look at these? Maybe you do, not me.)
Later in the day I was feeling stressed and a bit overwhelmed by all the moving parts both legal and personal in regards to my dad’s death. Being the trustee it is my duty to focus on the legal, to understand it, and to implement it. (I am setting the stage for the upcoming joy.)
After dinner Ron suggested we go walk the dog. I countered with a plan for him to walk the dog and for me to go on a much needed ‘worship walk.’ This is when I put on my favorite Christian songs - the playlist changes every year or so - and I go walk with the music washing over me through headphones. It was exactly what I needed, and exactly what I wanted. A deep, abiding joy filled me to overflow as I listened, sang, and yes, even lifted my hands when I felt like it along with other expressive dance-type gestures, all while walking. Ask any of my friends or people who have seen me praise. They will know.
I liken my enthusiasm to David’s when King David danced with great abandon before the Lord. 2 Samuel 6:14. Ok, I don’t dance with abandon while I walk. I save that for actual dancing: at weddings, at parties, in the kitchen. But I do walk with expression let’s call it. There’s a line between being myself, and drawing attention to myself for attention’s sake. The latter is not for me.
The truth is I am still in the afterglow of my walk. I’ve long forgotten about short lines at the store. That’s the difference then I guess. Glow vs. barely remembering. External vs. internal. You get to decide what makes you happy and what is joy for you. So choose.
Hearing a good song makes me happy. Singing or dancing to it brings me joy.
— concert in the park, cutting up the rug (or grass rather)
