It’s a Catalyst for Change - episode 196
What does surrender mean to you? As in, you find yourself in a circumstance that you have no control over. How do you react? Do you fight it kicking and screaming? Do you get caught up in obsessive worry about the outcome? Ellen Burgan is our guest this week and she begins this new series of, you guessed it, surrender. She explains it takes practice and a lot of self compassion if you want to make the most of it. And you do.
Ellen shares you can grow your acceptance of the situation by listing the things you can control vs the things you can’t. Focus on what you can do by getting info on the unknowns, being patient with yourself, and finding a way to add something positive to the experience. Just like she did when her son went to New Zealand and she blogged about his adventures. Having to surrender? You likely didn’t ask for it, but you’re here so make the best of it. Let surrender be a catalyst for change.
She was on before in I Knew There was More Out There episode 159.
Trust yourself because everything's gonna work out.
— Ellen Burgan’s advice to her 10-year-old self
Sweet Surrender
Thoughts from It’s a Catalyst for Change
I can certainly think of times when I’ve had to surrender. The word denotes fighting until you realize you can’t anymore, and you give up, or give in. It’s a kind of resignation. Surrender is typically accompanied by sorrow over this thing you wanted to have happen but it didn’t. Expectations are adjusted, you process what won’t be happening, and you eventually move on. Hopefully you do. You have to. The choice is the high road where things are working for your good or the low road which causes bitterness, a spirit of complaining, and a destination of victimhood. I think some people stay in the state of surrender without the necessary healing that will help propel forward motion. They don’t know how to move forward and so there becomes some sort of payoff in their ongoing pain.
The term “sweet surrender” comes to mind. It sounds like an oxymoron doesn't it? For me it’s when I am afraid to take the next step into the unknown but I know that I have been led here to this very place at this very time. This is where my faith comes in. I am trusting I have arrived here by divine hand. And since I have that trust (it’s never absolute by the way), that is where the sweetness comes in. This is what you want for me? Then okay, I will move forward and wait to see how you work.
I like asking our listeners (and readers) what themes they are interested in. That’s how this theme of surrender came in. I have a friend who suggested it after she fell and seriously injured three out of four of her limbs. She was unable to work, drive, bath herself or even take the short walk from the living room to the bedroom without excruciating pain. Sandy is an athlete, a swimmer for Cal back in the day who has always been in excellent shape. Being sidelined like this was hardly easy.
This was her suggestion-text along with an unexpected compliment: I loved your recent UY post. Keep up the great work! You make us think and reflect - which ultimately helps us become a better version of ourselves❤️. Per your latest post, I have an idea for a podcast theme… surrendering. You may have done this already, though. It ties in with... Let go, let God…😊❤️
Turns out we both had the surrender theme in our separate devotions just a couple of days later. In a follow up she had these words to say, God works in amazing ways. Look at what my Daily Word (daily inspiration) is today. 🤗. “Surrender” and “Let go, Let God.” I get a digital email each day and this is for December 31st. Whoa! I just texted you about these words the other day. The message is so appropriate, especially at this time of year….but especially for me right now.
This is how God works. You don’t have to believe it for it to be true. And that is another blog post/topic altogether. At any rate see if you can make your surrenders a bit on the sweeter side, as an action of trust. I know from personal experience it is hardly easy to do. My most painful times in life were times of surrender and they certainly didn’t feel good at the time. Looking back though I see the good that eventually came from each and every one. Those are gifts after loss. Another matter near and dear to my heart. Stay tuned…
Sweet surrender can lead to unexpected gifts after loss.
— RCN
