Sometimes We are Just So Simple - episode 267
Think about it. What makes a man, a man? Is it muscles and strength, a prestigious job, having kids or a certain number as in age? According to Rick it takes three things. First humility, not that you don’t think of yourself, but that you think of others more. Next service, so that you contribute in big and small ways those who need what you can give. Last vulnerability, stop trying to shut down feelings as it’s ok to have them. It’s what you do with them that makes all the difference. Another great tidbit: yes, sometimes men really are not thinking anything. “Sometimes we are just so simple.” Rick Hacker is our guest this week for the series It’s Raining Men - What do they really think?
Rick has been on UY before in Love Wins by Storyteller Rick.
You can find him at 828hope.com.
If you say you’re going to do it, do it.
— Rick Hacker, advice to his son in becoming a man
What Comes After
Thoughts from Sometimes We are Just So Simple
It’s been close to 30 years since Rick and I have reconnected. It took both of our sons dying several years apart to make that happen. They were both infants and suffered from hypoplastic left-heart syndrome. Never heard of it? I’m not surprised. I hadn’t either. This is not to focus on the painful part of the story, it’s to focus on the hope, on the good that comes after loss. Sure, none of us would sign up for the bad parts; that’s a no-brainer. But what about when they come, because they will come.
The best I can offer is to look for the good. Not so much during, although it’s there too, but the after. When you realize this only happened, because that happened, because that painful thing happened. The tracing back can take many steps and often does. Sometimes it’s immediate. And dare I say sometimes you won’t even know about many of the good things that sprouted from that awful time. They are there. I promise you.
Rick (and wife Karen) coming back into my life years after our high school friendship, is one of those things. They knew all about it as they had been through it too. Now they lead a support group for grieving parents because they get it. They want to be part of the good, and they have been for over 30 years. That’s the legacy of their son, Matthew, who we think must be buddies with our little guy, Christian.
They are friends (no doubt) with Marcella Johnson’s son George who died shortly after birth. She went on to invent a therapeutic teddy bear that is weighted so when you hold it you can get some relief from the heartbreak. It works - I have one. The bears have been distributed all over the world after tragedies, anywhere where healing is needed. This is another example of the good that comes after.
Would we trade it all to have our sons still with us? You betcha’. But more than that, we trust a God who can take the most devastating, aching pain imaginable and grow the most beautiful, exquisite flowers from it. Keep the goodness coming, God. We don’t always get it, but we know you do. And that is all we need.
